#2

Dear Diary,

Before I go to bed, which is where I should be right now... let me just say...

I AM ANGRY.

I don't know why; I'm not exactly sure at whom. I JUST AM. PISSED. ANGRY. FUCKING FURIOUS.

And I realized that I so wanted to put some chocolate in my mouth, or eat a box of (hopefully gluten-free) cookies, but I didn't have those things, and besides I've had a horrible headache for two days as a result of my fling with frosting, and I feel like I'm starving but maybe I'm not starving at all, maybe I'm fucking furious, and I have been eating all this time to cover up my rage.

That's right, I'm a raging, freaking insane woman. I hate everyone. I hate Frank and M for leaving me, I hate Alphie for the way he treated me, I hate him and Ben for being successful when they are both womanizers and shits and they just fool the world into thinking they are good guys. I hate them.

Who else do I hate? Hmm. Let's see, there must be somebody.

Give me a minute...

Oh yeah. I hate myself. Still. But. Maybe that will get better.

Oh. And I hate Smitten for ignoring me, how could I forget that? I hate the fact that I set myself up for that situation. I hate how men treat women. I hate the Duke of Devonshire, did you see that movie, The Duchess? The true story of the Duchess of Devonshire, who married a man that didn't love her, and bore his children, and he literally had his mistress move into the house with them and she could do nothing about it; yet she was not allowed to be with the man she really loved, and had to give up her baby. When you think about it that kind of stuff has been going on for centuries, women being treated less than; it still goes on even though we pretend it does not, but you do not see many men worrying about how they look and trying to achieve unachievable states of beauty because of the fucking media, or because once they reach a certain age they are considered useless and ugly.

Gah.

Okay, so I'm mad, I'm going off into a tangent, and probably not making any sense, but that's the whole point of being angry... you don't have to make sense! You can just say things like,

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKHOLES! FUCK OFF YOU FUCKFACED FUCKERS FUCKING UP THE WHOLE FUCKING PLANET!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

See? I said it, and it's not even a real sentence. But it doesn't matter!

And rosie, thanks for your ice cream and pigsty confession. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

Love,
Duck

[previous] [next]