no R [ 2009-10-18, 5:33 a.m. ]

AAAaaaargh

Sorry Diary, I have been super lame in the updating department. I came home from Serena's class and kind hit the ground running... never seemed like I could keep up with work, my emails and phone calls.

Wouldn't you know that that fool who invited me to lunch, and brought a notebook and pen to ask advice and then didn't want to buy my meal, called me again to say he'd like to "get together" before he left, and was blatant about saying he needed to ask more questions. Well I didn't even have time for that, so I pretty much ignored him.

I have hooked back up with Evelina but she wanted me to come and meet with her in the early afternoon. She is really into these classes at her "center" whatever the fuck it is, it sounds like a cult. She goes everyday and one has to wear a special little uniform to take classes. But she is completely dedicated and I suppose it makes her feel good... anyway, I KNOW that I cannot get up in the morning and early afternoon doesn't work for me cause often I don't wake up till noon, and it's quite a distance, but somehow the last two times we've made plans, I've let myself be talked into meeting her at 1:30pm which means I have to leave my house at 1pm and... it's pretty impossible, because I am slow when I wake up. So I have canceled on her, twice. Then I am mad at myself for not speaking LOUDLY enough that I CAN'T DO IT, and mad at her for NOT HEARING ME when I say I can't do it the first time. I'm starting to get that Evelina in general is not a good listener. For instance, she spells my name wrong, constantly, everytime, even though I have told her, oh maybe 80 times that there is no R in my name (for those of you who know my real name, it's very similar to a popular name but just a bit different... people always get confused but usually I only have to tell them ONCE). Evelina still spells it with an R, in every personal email, in every professional referral, thus confusing the hell out of everybody.

She also cannot remember where I go... she thinks I go to City A for my class with Serena, when I have told her again and again I travel to City B. And everytime I connect with her on the phone she will ask me, "Oh, how was City A?" This is another thing, that for the past TWO YEARS every time she's asked me that, I say, "I don't go to City A, I go to City B."

It may seem petty, but this stuff drives me fucking nuts. Only because we've had each of those conversations over 20 times, no joke. What's so hard about remembering these simple things about your friends? It would just make me feel good and like she actually paid attention to my existence... ah... maybe I should just accept that she is an airhead and what can I do... but other days it just pisses me off.

I got a chiropractic adjustment that ended up doing more harm than good- felt good in the moment, but two days later I could barely turn my head. Oh, such pain. Then I got my period. Fuck it, no guys read this diary anymore anyway, do they? Friday I felt like crap. Though I have to say life is a little bit easier since I've been gluten-free. I think it makes a big difference in regard to my cramps.

Anyway, Thursday and Friday I had to rally for presentations, they went all right. I saw Ben and Marie, they are in town. It might be my imagination, but I felt a weird vibe from Ben. Maybe he gets that I don't like him, I don't know. I suppose I can't worry about it.

I stayed up way too late last night but finished up piles and piles of cyber shit- writing every email that needed to be written, organizing my calendar, preparing and promoting and doing whatever needed to be done. Inadequate sleep but I made myself get up and go to dance class.... I was glad I did... Emily, who is here visiting with Mr. G, her greasy boyfriend, was supposed to meet me after class but she didn't. Instead she went to eat with Mr. G. Glad I called and found that out because I was starving and needed to eat for myself. At least it wasn't another one of those times when I waited to eat with her (she had said we'd go get sushi after class) and then we'd meet up and she'd say she'd just eaten... god I hate that too.

Anyway I told her I was going to get something, since I really needed to eat. She texted me that if I hurried and met them at 6:30 I could meet Mr. G! Oh boy. No, I've never met him. But it wasn't much of a draw either. For one thing, I went to Emily's cousin's last night and was there until 12:30am because Emily said Mr. G was coming over. He never came, just didn't show up. Now she was suggesting I hurry and meet him before he had to leave for the airport. When they had eaten and I had not. I took my time and went to a restaurant I liked and ordered coconut shrimp and tuna salad. It was kind of expensive, but... it's been so long since I've gone out to lunch or spent any money on a tasty treat. It was delicious.

Of course I missed Mr. G but truth be told I don't much care. He sounds like a loser to me and personally I think Em is wasting her time. I've plenty of time to meet him if he's worth meeting- time will tell if they stay together. And since the guy didn't put much effort into coming over and meeting me last night, I was not going to mess up my blood protein just to shake his hand.

So okay, I might be bitter.... slightly... I sure am tired, and now my internal body clock is once again screwed up. I wanted to go visit my parents this coming weekend, because I know I will sleep there. But my mom wants to renovate or something and basically my dad called me this morning and told me it is not a good time to come. How could I explain that I really just wanted to come and use their good sleep vibe?

So I dunno. Emily says maybe we will jet off on a little weekend getaway. Or maybe we'll stay here. She has to go to the doctor for some major tests since she has some pretty funky symptoms going on. I think she is over stressed and she has already approached work about taking a leave of absence.

Hmm. Can I write anything positive about today? I dunno.

I couldn't resist and I did make a comment about something on Smitten's FB page. Ten minutes later he emailed me a photograph. It doesn't mean anything, and I haven't done anything about it. Blah.

Maybe tomorrow I'll be better company.

Love,
Duck

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