Dear Diary,

Nothing amazing to report... I slept in, ate lunch, got ready for work... I found a check I thought I'd lost... funny because I was minutes away from calling the lady and telling her that she would have to stop the check... phew!

Work was good, I guess I can't complain if I am doing more than breaking even! Even though I was really hoping to do well this week... I guess I will just keep truckin' on and see what develops.

Don (my ex-colleague whom I dated for three months) has been calling me all week- saying stuff like, "It was so good to run into you a few weeks ago, would really like to catch up with you, blah blah blah." He called me about three times, we were playing phone tag. And I actually thought that MAYBE he was sincere but... I learned my lesson today. He left me the same kind of message, but also mentioned that he and Crystal were doing some kind of presentation this weekend and he could really use some advice and support... uh... meaning he wants free services at the last minute.

I so love that saying, "Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." I finished what I had to do- ate my lunch, made my calls, took a shower, went to work. Called him on the way, got his voicemail- told him he could call me back and I'd be working but he could leave a message letting me know how late I could phone him. Finished work tonight and there was no message. Oh well. He is a user- that wasn't real. I'm sure I won't hear from him at all once his deadline has passed... too late, maybe he got help from somebody else! Gah. He really irritates me. The other point in this is that he and Crystal aren't even actually qualified to do what they say they are doing. I'm sure they are mucking things up, but what can I do?

Hmm. Other than that, I have a meeting with my meditation group tomorrow which I'm looking forward to. Jerry and I traded FB messages back and forth about doing something together, but of course as soon as I suggested Saturday evening, he stopped responding and I have not heard from him at all. It's so ridiculous.

Evelina is the same. She said she wanted to come to the meditation meeting tomorrow but she canceled last minute. She said she needs to talk to me but she doesn't return my calls. She invites me to a concert tomorrow night but when I call for the address and time, she doesn't respond.

What is going on? Flakeyville. Well if I can't find the concert tomorrow night, maybe Bethany will want to hang out. Unless she's having sex.

Bethany's guy has officially referred to her as his "girlfriend" and they have been spending quite a bit of time together... sometimes an inconvenience for me because with all this sex she is having, Bethany now is not always available when I need her. Ha!

(That is a joke, really. I'm not a psychopath).

I would really like to have a little relationship-thingy as you know but first it appears I have this homework assignment of working things with Shelby and seeing if I can be a normal person who can relate to someone and retain some sense of self and avoiding going off the deep end with obsession and abandonment.

We'll see, I suppose.

I hope I'm not one of the "train wrecks" Rosie?? :I

Love,
Duck

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