overthinking [ 2010-01-17, 1:36 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Last night I wrote an entry but somehow it didn't stick.

So... dinner with Serena was fine. I'm glad she came, everybody seemed to have a good time. And I didn't beat myself up about the food or even really make a mistake (usually whenever I attempt to cook for Nia and Lee, I mess up something somehow, even if it's a little thing).

In any case, that went well and then myself, Nia and Lee sat in the living room and looked at each other for five minutes. Then Lee announced he was going to bed. Then we all separated. I think they are so sleep deprived (new baby) that there is not much hanging out to be done.

Afterward I called Shelby and we talked for a short while, which left me incredibly giddy. I don't know why. I don't really know how things will go, or if I'm going to be satisfied sexually with this arrangement. I guess it's just exciting to have someone in my life who finds me attractive.

Today was another day of the usual routine- dog walking, baby changing, infant rocking, trying to put stuff into little people and wiping up what leaks out of them. Hmm.

I spoke with Gia tonight. She and I have been playing phone tag, in a big way... she asked me if I wanted to hang out tomorrow but I already have plans with Shelby. She seemed somewhat disappointed and also said something along the lines of not having time to spend with her if I was involved with a man. I told her that I wasn't rejecting her in favor of any man, but that Shelby and I had made plans and put dates in the calendar. She admitted she hadn't made any plans with me and that it was her own fault if we couldn't do something last minute....

Then I started to worry about it and I called Shelby and asked him if need be, could Gia and Thomas come to dinner with us? And that I realized I might be overthinking the whole thing. Shelby seemed to think I was overthinking, and also that it would be fine if they came. I just wanted everything to be okay overall for everybody... that's where I get into trouble. Really, I have to stop worrying about everybody so much.

Well, now I'm tired... need to sleep.

Love,
Duck

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