Dear Diary,

So, I went to bed around 11:30/midnight, actually fell asleep, woke up at 2:30am, got up, worked, cleaned, finished my taxes, worked on my marketing, and I don't know what else. Called Emily at 8:30 this morning, told her I was going to take a nap and then get up and go to the laundromat... but that didn't happen.

Instead I had a hard time waking up and remembered I was supposed to call Callie at 1, it was already 1:30pm. So I called her and worked with her, then I had a client call out of nowhere and we had to hash over a bunch of stuff and my phone kept hanging up on him even though it was plugged in, because I couldn't give it enough time to charge. And somewhere in there I took a shower and then Petra called when I was trying to get ready to meet Emily and we talked a bit and she asked if I was coming out to visit them and I said no, but maybe we can meet when I am next going to Serena's... and all that was fine. And she actually did say that Michael trying to guilt me into coming was just a joke and I shouldn't take it personally. It was weird because I never sent her that email where I bitched her out for all that, but it was as if she had got it.

Then I finally was able to leave the house and damn did I mention my ankle has been hurting, it just started hurting that night I went out with B, for no good reason... and anyhow the bank sign SAYS they're open till 6pm but the doors were locked and everyone gone at 5:50... how nice to work at a bank and make up your own rules and times. The fuckwads. So I deposited using the machine again, which is always an adventure but I feel safer if the money is in there and covering that big check I wrote to pay on my credit card.

I had to run one errand and then I met Emily for dinner. She looks good and pretty and relatively happy and rested, she is really taking it easy living with Mr. G. And she is talking about coming back to live here in the summer. I guess they had the talk and he said he is not interested in marriage. Emily is all about marriage and family and kids, so she's decided to come back... plus she does not like it there, in his country, it is not metropolitan or worldly enough for her. I admire that she's made that decision, because it would just be so easy to wait and try living in a fairy tale and waste some years wishing someone would change. Lord knows I've done it. In any case Mr. G still sounds like a real pill and nothing in the past 3 years or so has convinced me otherwise about him, I can't see my beautiful adventurous young friend settling down with someone who is so obviously controlling and unwilling to change.

Aside from almost getting in an argument about soy (she insists soy is good for a person and has the most bioflavanoids; I say it is an entirely overprocessed food and only fermented soy is supposed to have any benefits), the night went well. I filled her in on the gossip and that was that. It was a pretty pricey restaurant and she treated, and sometimes I just look around and wonder about people in restaurants like that. I was feel terrifically out of place, not necessarily a race thing but more like it is obvious my clothes are not as nice and I don't have as much money as people there... it is like visiting another planet. M would always tell me to just pretend I am a rock star and I just don't give a shit.

I just like down to earth people, like the time Shelby and I went out to dinner he had duct tape on his boot. And at the end of the evening I gave him a toothpick and he came back from the bathroom, wandering around the restaurant with a toothpick in his mouth. It was quite a fancy restaurant too, with tablecloths and candles and fancy shmancy everything.

Speaking of Shelby, I found an email he wrote me last night, he'd actually fallen asleep and missed my call. I was able to reach him tonight and talk for about 15 minutes. I didn't have much to say in the way of complicated conversation, I just breezed through the explanation of my last couple of weeks- the hormonal/emotional imbalance, the insomnia, the eleventeen instances of triangulation in my life right now, how I was triggered about control while we looked at our calendars. He said he could understand that because he gets triggered around control when it comes to calendars...

And that was about that so I will see him tomorrow and we will most likely also be getting something to eat together. That is nice too.

Meanwhile, mercury retrograde is doing a number on me with all these communication mixups, not to mention the mail is not being properly delivered because I found out that for the past two days nobody in the building has gotten any mail (and Netflix was supposed to come today!)- the same thing happened last week- so I called the post office and of course the person who answers the phone doesn't want to deal with it and tells me I have to call in the morning.

The shitty part of that is I was expecting my checks to be delivered and I am all out of checks, so I can't write any new ones. That SUCKS. Big time, because I have to write about three this weekend alone. But I guess it will all be okay in the end.

Love,
Duckie

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