Dear Diary,

My brain's a little fried... I've been getting up early for the past several days, but not really sleeping any more. I just tried to make a list of things I have to do, but I keep forgetting what I'm going to write down.

Today I got up early because I agreed to go do community service with my meditation group. We were supposed to meet at the soup kitchen at 10:30am. I got up, made my lunch, had breakfast and dreaded going outside in the rain. Plus I was just in a bad mood overall and not feeling good about doing community service. I felt like I was only doing it to make the Universe do something for me, as a trade, and was more focused on what I would get back than what I was giving. Finally I left the house and I screwed up the address and got off at the wrong stop and was so awfully confused... then I was outside and couldn't find the place... it was terrible. Once I got inside and they gave me a job, I was stationed at one of the food tables and I just got to hand out food.

I was working the counter with some very privileged college students who were alternately complaining, judging, and acting bored. When I saw the people coming in I just felt glad to be there and helping and it made me want to do more, like bake cookies for them or something, or remember to bring plastic bags next time because most people live on the street and plastic bags are an important part of keeping things safe and dry.

In any case I am glad I went and contributed.

Afterward I went to Bethany's and ate my lunch. We just hung out and I watched Bethany clean up a little bit. Then I went to work, which was better than expected. I was so freakin' tired before work but perked up a bit.

So there.

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