a bit closer [ 2010-04-02, 12:23 a.m. ]

#2

Dear Diary,

Didn't get much accomplished today. At the last minute I decided not to do laundry, as the sun was shining and instead I chose to go pay my rent and take a walk in the park.

I talked to Bethany for a bit but she is pretty miserable. I realize that in the past few weeks I really don't like talking to her at all. I know she is having a hard time, but any conversation consists of her complaining about one thing or another. But a lot of it doesn't even make sense. For instance, she was complaining about how she was trying to do research for work but a guy she was talking to was being "mean" because he needed more details. But in theory I could totally understand that he COULDN'T understand what Bethany was talking about because she wasn't giving him any details... she's not really helping her own case. It seems that she is overwhelmed by life, I know, and maybe she doesn't quite know what to do... but she is miserable and I am always on the verge of miserable so it's not good for me to be around miserable people too much.

I finished up some details, paid some bills, went to the post office and the bank and the library... and then to work. Of course I always like to be at work a bit early on Thursdays because... well... to confess a bit I do like running into Luke even though I ignore him completely. Is that weird?

Anyhow, Luke wasn't there tonight so I ended up talking to some of the other guys. And they were super super nice to me and I went home with a big smile on my face.

Mostly I am feeling hopeful about paying off my credit debt, even though it is slow going and I get a little depressed each time I open the bill... I guess I have to keep going forward and pay as much as I can and maybe try to stave off depression by not checking online too much. It just makes me feel bummed because I try so hard and then it seems that number never budges. It's so frustrating!

Oh well. A bit closer everyday...

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