Realizing that I don't want every entry to be a complaint of some sort... and trying to look at things positively.

So let's start out with how attractive I appear to be lately... even though my thighs rub together and I could just *barely* squeeze myself into my fat jeans yesterday, as of late I have been getting a lot of appreciative stares and comments from the male gender. Perhaps we all need to be reminded that they tend to be attracted to curves and proportions more than size overall...

And even though I messed up my neck a bit while I was sleeping, and my hip hurts, I still have a decent body that does a lot of things I want it to...

And I have lots of work this weekend and just booked another client, so while some people are really struggling, I am not doing too badly moneywise, considering I was able to pay off a sizeable chunk on my credit card over the last few months, and bring it down from that terrifying 5 digit number to a still disturbing but somewhat better 4 digit number... meanwhile I've still had enough food to eat, and have been able to ornament myself with some new clothes- that is still quite fortunate.

I can be glad that even though I'm technically single, I have a really good man in my life who is kind and true and doesn't act like a complete numbskull. Unlike Stacey, I am not stuck in a loveless marriage with a child (Stacey is now once again holding back from divorcing him because one of his best friends just committed suicide AND he is starting a new job and he's kind of a wreck so she feels it would be unfair to leave him now), or deluding myself like Kelly (who is letting her bf move back into the house AND putting his name on the deed even though he cheated on her and has just been trying to get the house ever since) or Emily (who is insisting there is a chance she and Mr. G will marry even though he's blatantly told her he doesn't want to). Life could be like that, but I may have learned enough lessons in that department.

So with this in mind I intend not to dwell too much on my confusion around being alone and unsure of what to do... somewhere along the way I will find my passion again and have joy in my life. It is my choice to find joy in the littlest things, so today I choose to find it in the fact that the sun is out, I have a nice place to live, my family is alive and well, and there are a lot of gifts in my life.

Love,
Duck

[previous] [next]