Today, a hard one.

Slept late, many dreams. My mother, my father, boats, water, figuring stuff out. For the fourth night in a row have been dreaming about G, the young guy at the lake. I'm probably going back there and will see him at the end of the month. Maybe we're trying to work something out.

I've got the blues pretty bad, and even with all my skills I'm having trouble comforting myself. I went for a walk, but it felt like an incredible amount of work. I've made some phone calls. I can't stop going to the bathroom or blowing my nose, so maybe I'm just clearing a lot of emotional stuff, who knows?

Last night after work I ate chips, dip, and a candy bar. That is not my normal m.o., and I've definitely been hitting the sugar too hard. But at this point I'm just trying to get through each day and be okay with it.

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