surprises- don't like 'em [ 2010-05-24, 6:02 p.m. ]

Diary,

Man what a day. I don't know why but I was up till 3am. Then when I did wake up I had a message from some guy about meeting this afternoon. I had totally forgotten that I had "tentatively" put him on my calendar. I think that he was supposed to call me on the weekend to confirm, but he didn't.

I don't really like surprises of that ilk. He said he could meet between 12-2 so I called him to me at 12:30/45 and he said he was way the hell downtown and could we make it later? I didn't really want to, I had laundry to do and had to compile an email and go to work tonight, but we struck up a compromise that we would meet more toward the center of town. He wants to work together but when I hung up the phone I realized he was already annoying me, why bother telling me you can meet between 12 and 2 and you're still having breakfast miles from the meeting place at 12?

Anyhow. I got my ass in gear, made a real breakfast of bacon and eggs, and went to the meeting, which was okay but took longer than expected, of course- I went to the bank and put a payment on my credit card, then came home and went to the laundromat. Shelby returned my call from last night and I told him about the incident with the woman who won't listen to me and I wrote her an email. They work together so he was very interested in hearing about how it all went down. He was of course disappointed in her reaction, as I was. I didn't bring up separating/breaking up/whatever you want to call it, because I am really not ready to talk about it yet. It's not so much that I am afraid, it's more that I feel I don't have the exact words and I'm not really clear enough to talk about it yet.

I was talking to Red about it last night on the phone. He listened to the whole deal and I basically was telling him that I need to be completely "single" this summer while Shelby works on being married and then hey, I will see him in the fall and I will be single and he will be married. Most likely we will not get together again, is my guess, I don't know why but as cool as his wife has been, I kind of have the feeling that she is going to need a lot more once they are living together.

That's what I need... Red thought I was being sensible enough and not deluding myself. I don't know. It's hard to tell between Serena and Red, she is overly cautious at times and I can't tell if she always misjudges my competence or if it is true. I still have to figure it out for myself.

So, back to that- I did tell Shelby that I had something I wanted to talk to him about at a future time but I still needed to sort it out in my head. He said, sort away. The funny thing is that right when I told him that I dropped my phone, and we agreed that is a sign that I'm not ready to talk about it.

Madness at the laundromat, I don't know how much more I can bitch about the utter amount of clothes I seem to have yet a lack of things to wear. I was rushing around like crazy and I just realized I thought I had to be at work at 7 when actually I don't have to be there till 7:30. Huh. I am sweating and just busted out the fan and decided what I really wanted to do was just sit the fuck down in front of it for ten minutes and chill. What a day.

There is still much to do, this morning I also pulled apart the bedroom closet and found more things to throw away. Clearing and purging, clearing and purging oh my.

So, now it's really time to get ready for work, so I'll be on my way.

Love,
Duck

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