Dear Diary,

No I cannot believe 8 days have gone by and I have sucked at updating, but what can you do.

I moved out of Stacey's place and into Thomas and Gia's. I go to my seminar every day and they are working, so I don't often see them. I am tired. I know they have a lot of things going on also, so they also don't really seem available as a source of support.

I finally calculated how much money I have left and it is. Not much.

And my boss from my pt job obviously forgot to call my hours into the pay check company because lo and behold, there was no deposit in my checking account this week. Fuck. I told her I was going to call her and remind her to call in my hours, and I sent her an email, but she said, "Oh no, you don't have to do that, I'll remember." Well she did not remember. And now I have to wait another two weeks to get paid. And juggle my other bills. Fuck! I should have called her on Wednesday but I thought about it too late.

Things with Roc- less than thrilling. I'm not even sure what has happened. We talked a couple times on the phone, but not really by any effort from him. Once I actually called to talk to his roommate but got him accidentally. So we spoke. I have told him point-blank that I want him to call me, that I hate texts... there were a couple of times when I called his cell and he texted me back that he couldn't answer the phone, so-and-so was over, etc... and then a few days later texted that he was thinking of me during a rainstorm... but no phone calls. So I told him point-blank, he seemed to take it in, but then the action doesn't follow. He doesn't seem as obsessed with me as he pretends to be. Plus I am just getting the drift that he is not congruent overall, he reminds me a bit of M, that he might not really know who he is and he's just faking it a lot. Dunno. Tiresome.

Two days left of the seminar, I have really enjoyed all the teaching, and I know part of me will miss it, but also part of me is tired... I don't know how I feel about going home. Mostly right now I am tired! And I don't know what will happen with Roc. I am looking forward to seeing Shelby again in August even if it is just as friends for dinner. I miss him incredibly.

Love,
Duck

[previous] [next]