triangulation, again [ 2010-07-29, 1:49 a.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Life might be easier if I updated a little more. Hmm.

Here's what's happened since I last wrote: My seminar ended on Sunday, I came back to Thomas and Gia's and hung out with them. Monday I arranged to have lunch with Stacey and her kid, who of course was awful. He actually spit on her food, spit water on her while she was eating, and in general had terrible behavior which she continued to blow off. We took a long drive and basically had to do whatever he wanted... so honestly I don't feel too bad about not wanting to hang out with them, ever.

Roc kept sending me text messages which just felt unbelievable. I don't know how many times I've told him that I don't want to text. But the last one basically said, "I heard you talked to Marianne, and I see you're not responding now." Drama, anyone?

So here's the basis of that: Marianne has a house and invited Roc to live there and work for her on the property, which has been happening for the past few months, so they are roommates. So a few weeks ago when I went to the lake, we were all there. I felt that Marianne and I connected a bit over the weekend and I sent her a card and tried to follow up with her regarding some things we had talked about. But I never heard anything back from her.

The other night when Roc and I spoke on the phone, he told me that he had been having some difficulties with Marianne in that she wasn't respecting his boundaries. I wasn't really sure what that meant, but I felt like it might mean that she liked him and he didn't like her back. I pondered aloud wondering if Marianne was upset with me for getting closer to Roc, because she hadn't written back to me or said thank you for the card.

A few days later I get a call from Marianne, telling me that Roc and she were fighting and he mentioned that I felt she had been treating me differently since he and I got together. Oh, the drama! I simply said that I had mentioned that Marianne wasn't responding to me and that I was wondering if I had done something to offend her. We talked it out and she assured me that she had been lax about responding for other reasons. She also did mention that she was having trouble with Roc and their friendship was suffering. I told her I hoped it could get better. She said she hoped so too but that Roc was not very good at the "interpersonal stuff". I couldn't tell if she was trying to warn me away from him or what.

Then I get this text from Roc, apparently he is thinking that since I talked to Marianne I don't like him anymore because I am not responding to his texts. Which is ridiculous because I only told him ten times that I don't like texts and I usually ignore all of them anyway. So I called him and we talked and he told me that Wednesday night Marianne confessed that she is love with him, and now he feels like he has to move out, and he was concerned that she told me that and that I was moving away from him.

I told him that Marianne had described everything going on between them as a friendship, and never told me she was in love with him. I am hearing two different sides of the same story and honestly I am not really sure who is telling the truth. It could be that Marianne has a fantasy that Roc and she had some connection, or maybe something did happen between them awhile ago and he thinks it means nothing and she thinks it means something- although Roc told me he was never interested in her. But he seems to have a little drama bug up his ass as well. And, Marianne is totally the type to have a crush on a guy who doesn't want her and fantasize endlessly that it could work out.

So I really don't know which parts are true and which parts are not, on some points I am just not sure who to believe. And, I guess there's my triangulation piece, it was a little too good to be true to believe that I met a totally available guy, right? Ha.

In any case, I came home last night, spoke with Roc on the phone, and we made a date for Friday. He is coming into town with his daughter and we will all go out to eat and to the movies I guess. He suggested this for this week and next week he says he wants to spend time with me alone, which I look forward to.

I went to the pt job today, I meant to get up very early and go but I was so dang tired, I slept till almost 11am (almost 12 hours). But now of course I am having trouble going to sleep. In any case things were piled up there and I had plenty to sort through, so it was a busy enough day. And I went to dinner with a friend, a dinner which technically I could not afford but, what the hell... I have to watch my money until I get paid in two weeks. Agh! That is so very far away!

I'm sure I have more to say but I'm actually getting tired.

Love,
Duck

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