the principle of the thing [ 2010-08-06, 3:27 p.m. ]

Dear Diary,

I am dealing with my feelings of upset, anger and sadness about Roc and just about the quality of men in my life in general.

Let me clarify and say that I am really not at a great personal loss regarding Roc- he is way too scattered and immature at this point to be with me the way I'd like. It is the basic concept that upsets me, the repetition of disappointment... I an just TIRED and upset, and yesterday I was so ANGRY I could spit nails... and I'm sure it doesn't have much to do with this one person.

But, I get up and go to work because I don't really know what else to do. It's okay to be here for awhile but basically I've realized I've worked everyday since I got home last week, and I need a day off. Even though I have no idea what brings me joy or how to tap into that.

Well tonight I'll be going to dance class and that brings me a certain degree of happiness, there is one more class tomorrow too. Jerry and I talked about getting together tomorrow but I don't even know if I should take that as a serious thing.

Probably not.

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