forgetful puppy and rest and renewal [ 2010-08-14, 8:23 p.m. ]

Dear Diary,

Well yesterday was a rough day as far as me being completely fried after work. I am trying to accrue a few extra hours but it is hard just being there as it is... I am quite serious Diary when I say that I am sitting there for five or six hours doing nothing. It feels awful and gives me a headache. Emotionally it makes me feel trapped and overwhelmed... not in a good space. I couldn't stay one more minute last night, I had to go before I did something horrible (not even sure what that means). I called Red and we talked for a bit, it helped a little but not much. And then I watched some shows online and went to bed. Had some trouble falling asleep, but eventually I did... I had some great dreams and woke up still tired, but feeling happy about my dreams.

I was also looking at two purses hanging on the chair in my bedroom, M bought them for me years ago- they are nice but I hardly ever use them- they are more like small clutches with a handle but I prefer a strap that can hang over my arm. I thought about giving them to goodwill but then I also realized that they are good colors for Marva and Bethany, so maybe I will just fill them with some simple things and give them as holiday gifts.

I got up and took a quick shower and was on my way to meet David and his family- his wife and two boys. We had a very expensive brunch that David paid for, then walked around town. I showed them all the things they might possibly want to see in my little town, dropped them off at their hotel and then went to work at the pt job. They were shocked to see me come in, especially one hour before closing but whatever, I make my own hours and it's not actually necessary for the office to be open for me to get work done.

As usual there wasn't much work to be done, maybe about an hour's worth and I drew that out to one hour and forty-five minutes, because I just want to accrue as much time as possible before I go on these trips. I need as much money as I can get.

Luckily too I have a client booked for Monday and that will go towards rent... I am cooking other ideas to earn money as quickly as possible so I can just pay off my debt and not have to work this extra job. I actually have a vintage dress I can sell and I would just put that money on my credit card.

No word from Roc of course, I bet everyone is having a blast at the lake and I guess I am just continuously feeling bad wishing I were somewhere else, really that doesn't get a person anywhere. I must be feeling low because I re-activated my online dating account, and I only do that when I'm feeling pretty lonely. It's a Duckie classic, plus all I seem to attract online are total freaks. It's a little intimidating because the guys I tend to look at are so attractive, it makes me feel they are probably looking for some fair-skinned model type, and somehow I always get responses from socially inept nerds, I don't know any other way to explain it.

I did learn one important lesson today- that the owner of the company has a very short attention span, and if he starts talking down a road I don't want to go, I just have to do something like ask him about his tattoo or something like that, and he will start telling some other different story. Genius. He's like a puppy that just forgets.

So tonight - just hoping for some sleep, rest and renewal.

[previous] [next]

Photobucket
S DUCKIE
archives ~ profile ~
~ email ~ gbook ~ notes ~
~ host ~ image ~ design ~