Hi Diary,

I started an entry last Friday but I had to get on a plane so I lost it... so I'll just try again here.

I proposed my plan to meet Roc halfway this week, supposedly there are some really cute little towns between us that I have never been to and I think it would be kind of romantic. However Roc replied that daughter's bus gets home at 3pm- okay I guess. Technically Marianne is home on Fridays and the daughter is fourteen years old... you'd think he could work something out if he really wanted to see me, you know? But I don't even feel that bad about it. Mainly I think he wants to get me into bed, I don't really believe he knows what intimacy is, and he just associates it with sex.

Whichever. Now let me tell you a story: you probably don't remember HC (Hot Client). He is a guy that I met at work probably five years ago, I saw him again when Keith came to town. At that time I was with M, but I found HC so attractive, he was really the only other guy I found attractive besides M. HC and I went out to dinner several months after M and I broke up, but I was so very broken, it was hard for me to be present at all, I felt really self-conscious and was comparing him to M, even though the overall flavor of our meeting wasn't particularly romantic. We talked about getting together, but one thing or another was in the way, then I emailed him earlier this year and he had moved out of the country. Well the week before Labor Day, I got an email from HC saying he was in town. Of course I was going away for the weekend and that's the weekend I hooked up with G...

Last Thursday I agreed to meet up with HC after work- he looks so different, cut all his hair off- it was already late but we went and got dinner (he paid) and then we were just walking around the rainy city with nowhere to go... but every part of my body was hot, even my feet, just being around him! I was debating inside if I should take him home. One, my place was a disaster, two, I have never done the "take someone home and have sex with them" thing, not EVER. In college I had maybe three episodes of casual sex and they were all pretty unfulfilling. But this night, I WANTED to... and he even said, "If I had a place I'd ask you there, but I don't have a place..." so I said fuck it, and invited him over.

By the time we got to my place and got settled it was probably 1am. It all felt really good, and oddly we never got to intercourse. Haha. I guess since I don't do this very often, while we were rolling around and rubbing each other and making out, I was waiting for him to ask me if I had a condom and/or if I wanted to have sex... and it occurred to me later that maybe he was waiting for me to ask. So I really don't know, but in any case by 3am I was truly physically tired and wanted to sleep. So we did. It was very sweet, he didn't move or snore, and he left at 8:30am. I stayed in bed, slept a few more hours, then got up, packed my bag, got my eyebrows done and went to work at pt job.

Overall I was feeling okay about everything and a little bummed we didn't have sex. But I resolved to fix that... sadly, at this moment I remain my virginal self!

I took my flight in the evening and when I landed there was a message from HC on my phone. Well maybe there was a message, all I could hear was a horrible loud sound like a bus depot. So I had no way of knowing if the call was intentional and if it was, what the message might be. Figures, right?

There is more about the weekend but I will have to continue this update later!

Love,
Duck

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