Dear Diary,

So on Friday I went and signed the forms for my taxes- finally, I am actually getting some money back this year! Amazing. Of course it will all be going to pay the credit card, so don't get too excited. But still, that in itself is exciting to me. Somewhere along the line last year I made some kind of mistake- I got a hefty some of money and put it straight on my card, but then I think I made some bad choices and overcharged again, bringing me into the same place I was before! Oh how that sucks. I don't want to do that again.

That afternoon I went into the pt job. There has actually been real work to do as of late! I spent the whole four hours taking care of loose ends that I promised my boss I would take care of before I left.

Red came here for the weekend. One of his closest friends had a significant birthday, so Red flew in for the party. I got to see him on Friday night as he stopped by work, and then we went out to eat with Bethany. John also came by because he asked me to text him, he specifically wanted to hang out with Red. He hasn't been coming by work when I am there, but he explained that he's been busy with some other projects. So I guess it's not about me, but even if he's lying and it is about me, it's still really about him.

So we all stayed out way too late and I probably got home at 1am or so. When my alarm rang at 8am I did NOT want to get up and go to dance class, but I made myself get up and go. I haven't danced in so long and more than anything I was realizing just how incredibly out of shape I am! Oh it was bad. Emily was there and on the break we went to get lunch with Pansy. Emily was being a real pill. She said she hated the dance class. The thing about Emily is she will get very obviously upset but try to pretend otherwise. I know the real problem is that she had a reading from Pia and Pia basically told her that she and Mr. G are not compatible. Then she started having some dreams about it. Then I guess she and Mr. G had a fight. Now she is angry at Pia saying that she poisoned her mind and made her worry so it's affecting her relationship and becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Um, okay. As you know, I don't think this relationship has much going for it in the first place, I don't think Emily is happy, and I think she's having dreams because she's starting to realize what's true. I know what it feels like to be so attached. But I also have very limited patience for Emily's drama right now. It would be one thing if she was sad and just admitted that's how she felt and she wanted to be comforted- but this attitude of clamping down, running out of the dance workshop, getting mad at everybody else- it's tiresome. Also since she has started going to school, she is like a new college student that just started studying and thinks she knows everything. She argues with everyone and doesn't leave space for anyone else's opinion. I told her that I wasn't feeling well because I hadn't eaten sugar and was detoxing, and her answer was a flat "That's not true. That's not the reason you feel bad." Um, okay. Never mind that I have done this before and I know how shitty a person can feel when they stop eating junk food. I just hate her attitude lately. She's always been very generous to me but I also don't believe it gives her the right to treat me that way.

I stopped by the pt job after dance, again because I wanted to make sure absolutely everything was done before I left for two weeks. Then I stopped by the party for 15 minutes to say goodbye to Red before I went home to finish packing. It took me several hours, but I was a good girl and did not sit down at the computer or watch any shows or movies. Instead I folded and put away all my laundry, packed my suitcase, cleaned and vacuumed the house, cooked and packed my lunch. I also called a cab because although it is an extra expense, I just wanted today to be easy.

So vacation has not yet begun, but it is only a couple days away!

Love, Duck

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