Hi Diary,

I'm back home now. Right before I left I had a little thing happen with Gia... well it's all complicated. I found out that Serena moved this other girl into the class I really wanted to be in- the girl doesn't have as much experience or skill as me, yet she got moved into this upper class anyway? I don't get it, and it made me so mad! I walked around the block for about an hour. Then I felt like having a good cry. When Gia asked me how I was feeling I told her that I had been angry but now I was feeling some grief about it. She said something about me going into a spiral and that I should avoid it... whatever she said, it felt like she was telling me not to be sad... which felt awful, because that's exactly how it felt like I needed to be, and I hate when people imply that I am feeling the "wrong" emotion at the wrong time. At that point I pretty much shut down, went to bed without saying goodnight to anyone, had a cry and eventually fell asleep. I still felt shut down in the morning. Both Gia and Thomas noticed and I thought maybe I could talk to Gia when she drove me to the bus, but at the last minute they decided that it would be easier for Thomas to take me, so I didn't get a chance to talk to Gia at all.

Thomas asked me while we were driving and I told him everything. He agreed that it would be wise for me to confront Gia and overall he was very supportive.

Today I feel less worried about talking to Gia than I did yesterday... we are friends, and I still love her, I just need a little more space around my emotions is all, and I think I can explain that to her.

B was nice enough to pick me up at the airport, which was nice especially since my flight was late. It was so late he just dropped me at home, we didn't have time to eat. I stayed up way too late working on projects, I'm really excited about my presentation for Saturday... that's all I can say. I like my own work.

Went to the pt job late this afternoon, of course there was a huge pile of stuff there waiting for me. People told me I looked refreshed, and I guess I felt more relaxed... I didn't feel like I wanted to stay in the office till late, so I only worked five hours and then went to the grocery store and came home. I don't feel like getting into that really tense place again.

I am really tired though, so going to bed soon. I've been working on my own stuff, and trying to get things in order for the weekend. I have a lot to do, but hopefully can get a jump on that tomorrow.

Love,
Duck

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