Dear Diary,

I guess I just haven't had a whole lot of time to catch up on my writing!! It's been kind of crazy. I worked about 33 hours this week at the pt job, all the while never eating solid food. I did end up losing some weight- about 7 pounds toward the end. Now I am eating again and trying to make better food choices.

It's very strange because sometimes I will get up out of my chair unknowingly expecting my body to feel a certain way, and it feels completely different. I definitely look a little leaner, especially in my stomach area. There's no doubt in my mind that I was indeed very toxic and this was a good thing for me.

An interesting and monumental event- on Thursday I was talking to Gail (of course this was only after she talked about herself and was in a place where she could really listen) and I was telling her about how I had been cleaning my house in conjunction with this cleanse... and how I had found those papers about M and how I had realized how much sadness I still had about that whole situation... Gail suggested that it was all coming back up again because now I had the strength to deal with it, it was such a hard time for me. That opened a door and I told Gail that I needed to tell her something- I told her that during that time with M, some of her comments and her lack of support really hurt me - such as the time she told me it had been five weeks and I should get over it. I said it felt like a door had slammed for me on that day because I didn't feel like I had a friend there to support me around my broken heart. Gail rushed to apologize, saying she had been so angry and bitter at that time because of her chaotic relationship with Craig. She said she had thought of that incident many times since she and Craig broke up and she finally knew what it felt like to have a broken heart, and she should have brought it up sooner and apologized to me outright.

And that was something I had been holding onto for about three and a half years.

So, it felt really huge to bring it up and have it resolved. It was also really huge that Gail could be so forthright and sincere and responsible in her apology- my biggest fear was that she would lash out at me. When she did apologize it was like a damn broke inside of me and I felt a huge relief.

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