Dear Diary,

Well yesterday I stayed home and lay low. After a full weekend of work I knew that I needed to just chill. I called Henry to let him know that I wouldn't be going to exercise class. Henry decided he wasn't going either. Apparently he's been having some negative experiences with Tim as well. He said in the last class that Tim was really being a jerk in some of the partner exercises, kind of doing things to prove that he was stronger and could beat Henry. It left Henry with a bad taste in his mouth.

I told Henry that I was grounded as far as going out was concerned, but that if he wanted to he could come over to my place and we could watch a movie or something. He said that sounded great, so once again I did one of the fastest clean-ups of my life, straightened the place up, got out my candy (only a few little kids came by) and by the time Henry arrived I was ready for some hot tea and a movie.

He only stayed for a bit, we talked more about the Tim and Pam situation- still kind of a mystery to both of us. Henry told me that he really admires how I have been handling everything from a self-reflective place, and rather than making them bad people, I have been exploring what I might be responsible for, where I am triggered and what I can do about it. It was nice to get that feedback. I'm really glad I've had the opportunity to see Henry once a week or so because it feels like we've had the opportunity to build a friendship.

Today I am on my way to pt job, I feel like crap- I am fine when I am lying around at home, but as soon as I start to stand up and walk around my breathing is labored. To top it off I am getting cramps so that means any day now I will truly be out of commission. It seems unbelievable, I have missed so much work and I don't know what they think of me at the office... but I'm also wondering if now that I've truly decided to quit, the Universe is just telling me to get the hell out! Seems like a bad idea to quit right before Thanksgiving though, for two reasons: I don't really have enough of my own work set up, and, after Serena's class next time I am staying till the following weekend to go to Terry's wedding. So I will be missing another whole week of work. I guess I need to tell pt job about that, but it would be helpful to have that extra income in case I need it. This time of year with major holidays always gets a little weird because there's times when business is just dead. So that is why my original plan was to quit after the holidays.

Later,
Duck

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