Dear Diary,

Yes I know I have been so MIA... been kind of hard. After I wrote the last entry I went to my parents'. That was all fine, they were fighting most of the time as usual, but I asked my dad, in a private moment, if he would just please try not to yell at my mother (even though she is crazy-making, that is a given). He said he would try and he did. My brother Kevin was about with his new baby, not even three months old, and right after Christmas he broke up with the baby mama. Now what's going to happen? Who knows.

I came home the day before NYE, and worked at the pt job and some of my own work. I ended up not doing anything on NYE because my throat was hurting, and I also had cramps. I was only home for a few days and then I left to go see Petra and Michael. I realized I wasn't actually getting a cold but had some kind of post-nasal drip, which Petra said could be from a congested liver. I guess I suffer from that a lot, unfortunately.

Time with Petra and Michael was okay. Michael was in a pretty bad mood most of the time I was there. He has been overworking as usual and he takes it out on everyone around him, including complaining about Petra. It makes me want to punch him in the face. I had a blast with Petra- we always laugh a lot, and she treated me to a day of going to steam room and jacuzzi.

And... I saw High School Crush. Kind of a disappointment. He came to pick me up at Petra and Michael's- as soon as I saw him I said oh so great to see you, gave him a hug, and he said... pretty much nothing. Normally, I would think a guy would say, You look great, or You look the same, or You look different, or, Your hair is long. Something like that. But from him- nothing! That part in itself was kind of weird. There were also other little clues, like him not getting the car door for me, running across the street without waiting for me, and not offering me his arm when we were navigating difficult terrain at the beach- that led me to believe not only that he just didn't find me attractive (which is fine) but also that he was missing some masculine part of his brain that would normally make sure a woman wasn't hit by a car or was going to fall down and hurt herself. In Stacey's words, "Oh. He was thirteen, you mean." Uh, yeah. Just didn't seem to have a manly, protectory bone in his body. We ended up going back to Petra and Michael's for tea- I was staying in the guest house- and he sat in my room talking for a half hour while all I could do was try not to smell his stinky feet- and finally I just kicked him out because I figured he had had enough time to make a pass at me and he. FAILED. He wasn't even that cute, I am just really hard up.

The next day I walked on the beach with Petra, and we went to dinner and a movie with Michael. He finally loosened up and started to be more fun. That was my last day there, and then I had to go elsewhere for Serena's class. It was good, and I'm glad I was there. I like it a lot but I am definitely turned off by all the traveling. In the evening I went to Russell's house. I haven't hung out with him in years and years... he is an old friend of Alphie's, and that's how I met Russell. I like him a lot, he's successful and handsome, but I know I am not his type and I suppose he's way too logical for me anyway. Sigh. I guess I really want a boyfriend.

I got home on Wednesday and B picked me up, we went out for burgers. And then it was back to work all the way. As far as my pt job, the company is being audited. So I have to go through a bunch of records and find stuff, I guess. I haven't even really started, it won't be fun but I am not too stressed about it either. I guess I just don't care that much. But also the accountant said it really wasn't that big of a deal.

Before I left for Petra's I had a date with a guy from a dating site. It wasn't anything great, the guy was older than me but seemed really nervous, which would have been fine except he did dumb stuff like ask me in the middle of the date, "what do you think?" which is just too much pressure, as well as asking me about my success with using a dating site (why would I want to talk about THAT on a dating site??) and, well, I just got that he wasn't for me. He also started acting kind of bizarre at the end and then texted me a stupid thing the next day. It was just not for me.

I know I usually do a year-end summary of some kind, but I don't even know what to say about 2011. The nicest thing was maybe that I finally had sex.

Love,
Duck

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