#2

I hate someone.

Well, maybe not hate her, but I can't stand her.

I think I know why- because she's manipulative and avoidant and irritating. And she reminds me of me... especially when I was younger.

She's only about 20 years old, friends with one of the younger adults at the lake that I have been close to. But so far I have seen her screw over two of those young guys that I care about in a bad way.

With the first guy, she was dating him for a year and a half. Then, she ended up sleeping with somebody else, but she told her boyfriend she was sexually assaulted. For whatever reason, they broke up (I'm thinking that she initiated that because he was pretty heartbroken) then she went AND DATED HER SUPPOSED SEXUAL ASSAULTANT- that's right, the guy she slept with but had insisted that he had assaulted her.

Okay. Maybe some people are really confused and do that? I don't know.

Then she cried a lot and kept telling everyone that she got raped, and that she would never do drugs or alcohol because it makes people go out of control and that scared her. But there was something about it to me, that just didn't feel real. She irked me from the very beginning, and I couldn't figure out what it was.

Then she started dating the second guy, whom I am close to. At first he did not want to be exclusive with her, and she made a big deal about professing that she loved him. Then after a time he agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend with her, it seemed she was always pissed at him, he was always wondering what he was doing wrong. She would give him a hard time for smoking pot or rolling during a concert.

Then one night she calls him up and she's crying and saying she feels so overwhelmed and that she just needs to simplify her life somehow so she thinks they should open the relationship so they are not exclusive because she feels a lot of pressure. Of course my friend was scared because he felt that he was being dumped somehow and by now he is convinced he is in love with this girl. I didn't want to tell him point blank, dude, this girl is going to sleep with someone else but she doesn't have the balls to tell you....

And sure enough that's what she did. Even though she swore up and down that there was no one else she was interested in, that she really needed to break up to make life less complicated (it was already a long-distance relationship- seems like if you were really stressed you would lean on your partner more rather than pull away, but okay) but sure enough, she went out and fucked some other dude, and then got really drunk on top of that, even after all her preaching and condemnation of others drinking etc.

And so she leads my young friend around on a string because all he wants is to have her back, she goes hot and cold, walks away from him when he needs something, calls all the shots, tells him not to text her in the morning and at night to say hello and goodbye, leaves him crying in his bed, etc. I have tried to tell him again and again, buddy, she's just not that into you... but he is convinced she is something wonderful, and when you are 19 you cannot fathom that you have a whole life ahead of you... especially if you don't have enough self-esteem to demand that somebody treat you better.

So I know they are two young people doing their dance, but I could just shake him and tell him to drop her ass, and I could just punch her in the face with all her manipulative bullshit. I think the sexual assault thing was a lie to cover for cheating on the first guy, which is an insult to any and every woman who has ever been violated. I think she is a liar and a slippery little bitch. And I guess I am triggered because even though I didn't do those kinds of things... when I was her age I did have a hard time just coming out and telling guys what I really wanted (although I never pretended I was raped to cheat on somebody else).

And when she sees me I feel like I can see her and she knows I can see her but she tries to be extra nice and cling to me like a little sister and manipulate me with her little girl-ness so I won't see how manipulative she is, but we both know, whether she's conscious of it or not, that I know the truth.

And so this is something that really really bothers me, it's something that I see but my friend is too young to comprehend, he hasn't hit rock bottom with her yet- too into the drama.

Grr.

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