Dear Diary,
Where to begin? I'm still doing my best to be on my anti-inflammation diet, but I had to wait a bit to get started because I was waiting for the protein powder to arrive in the mail. I did well for a week with occasional hiccups, but not much... and now of course I am on family vacation but I have the intention to at least stick to 2/3 of the diet while I am here, which means eating the prescribed breakfast and lunch and then usually we go out to dinner or have some kind of dinner thing happening.
Also, about a week after I found the nutritionist/herbalist lady, my babysitting employer canceled YET AGAIN last minute on Saturday morning... so she had canceled on me several Wednesdays and this was the second Saturday in a row, so I called and asked her, "Do you just not need me on Saturdays anymore?" and she said, "No. And I don't think I'll need you Wednesdays either." So all of a sudden, POOF! I had no job... um... crap. Although when we were having this conversation, I actually wasn't freaking out at the time, it was occurring to me that things were shifting for the better, and a void was being created and something better can be coming in. I only felt a little freaky later, realizing I had no money saved and was going on vacation and I would have to get some more work.
Good news-wise, I had already recently reconnected with an old friend the week before. About 20-some years ago, I worked in a bar and these two guys came in, they had grown up together and were like brothers. I ended up dating Derek, who was by far the worst one to be dating, of course. Trent was his friend, and had a tendency to date numerous strippers and waitresses, and have pretty disastrous results. Both of them had grown up with alcoholic parents, Trent's were abusive. Derek was extremely abusive to me, he didn't hit me but he was very manipulative and controlling and verbally abusive. He slowly took over my life in nearly every aspect and didn't want me to do anything without him, he demanded that couples didn't keep any secrets from each other therefore I had no right to keep a journal that was private. He accused me of taking dance classes so I could "shake your tits and ass for other guys". He once came to my college dorm and stayed there for 2 weeks. He was pretty damned awful.
Trent was much sweeter in nature. In general he wanted to please, but he had his own dysfunction from growing up in such a messy household. I think maybe he was a sex addict. He would get in relationships with unstable women and either they would cheat on him or he would cheat on them. He lost a few jobs because he would sleep with multiple members of the staff. He was always nice to me though, and even provided a job for me whenever he started a business or had a management position somewhere. He used to tell Derek all the time to stop being an asshole and treating me badly or I was going to leave him. Trent and I remained friends after I left Derek, but when I moved we kind of lost touch and I hadn't seen him in about 15 years.
We did become friends on FB and recently went out to lunch, then started hanging out a bit going to lunch every week or so; the day before I got fired from babysitting we actually talked about me cleaning his house for money. So I did get a little job doing that... not that that's what I want to do with my whole life but, at the time I thought it would be some quick extra cash, turns out that is all the work I have right now!
And a weird thing: some time ago it was my birthday and I got a text from Gia: something like, happy birthday! Hope it's the best year ever! Ummmm sooo confusing, because she hasn't talked to me in a year, didn't invite me to her recent wedding (or did she? see the post about my wedding dream) and Thomas never acknowledged my invitation to connect... so... now I'm thinking is this part of some longterm plan of hers because she wants something? I just don't trust her, and have my doubts about her honestly trying to reconnect. As you know, in my opinion texting is for cowards, so if she thinks that's the way to get close to me, she's wrong. I fucking hate when people try to smoothe things over via text or email. In hindsight I think I should have wrote back, "sorry, who is this?" just to be as cruel and unfeeling as she has been. But I chose to take the high road and just wrote, thank you. Maybe I am being stubborn but I do not want to be the fixer.
That might be enough for today...
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