Dear Diary,

Felt like time for a check in. Life here goes on as usual. I went back to the city for work, and work I did- I had private clients as well as presentations. People tipped me and gave me extra money, not concerned with receiving change. I was definitely in a place of unbelievable abundance. Holy cow! It was nice.

I stayed with Steffy, who is a stay at home mom and seems to be loving it. We ate really well. We hung out with the baby. She is totally dedicated to the point where the baby sleeps on her even when she naps during the day. I am impressed with the security she provides for her child. Very impressed.

I came home and got sick, again from sleeping in too dry of an apartment. I have to be better about that... more Airborne, a traveling humidifier, perhaps? Dunno.

I'm loving this anti-inflammation diet. My parents don't believe me but even if I "cheat", I really can't wait to get back to my morning shakes with my flax seed oil, my fish and brown rice and steamed vegetables and my broth. My body loves it. And, even though I haven't lost weight, I have lost a lot of inflammation so I am feeling slimmer and more my old self- before I bloated up beyond belief this summer.

I made the mistake of looking at Alphie's FB page. Why? No idea. Maybe subconsciously to cut myself down after a minor success (working in the city). I guess he travels all over the world and makes good money. But I still feel he's a fake. Michael's birthday passed and I did not acknowledge it. I will never speak to him again unless he apologizes to me. Even though he is over 60 and, who knows, he could drop dead of a heart attack someday. I'm not sure I'd feel like I should have done something different.

I spoke to Shelly, I told her about my weird, disturbing dream of being confused about whether or not I was invited to Thomas and Gia's wedding-- I asked her, if she knew anything that she was comfortable telling me about-- she said no. Apparently Gia has never said anything to her about me, or how she feels about me, or anything. I also asked her if she saw anything about the way I am, or do relationships, that might be creating this dynamic of getting the rug pulled out from me without enough information, a pattern that just keeps repeating itself. I think I asked if I was doing something repulsive. She laughed at that, and said quite the opposite about me, she found me without malice and more self-responsible than anyone she knew. So... no answers there. But I feel supported by her so that's nice.

Tonight we had a big potluck dinner with the family. It was something new we've never done before, and it was fun. I like my aunts and I realized I should spend more time with them. I'm still getting over being sick so not sure what I will do tomorrow.

Love,

Duck

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