Dear Diary,

Okay, so I haven't eaten chocolate, or really any sugar... excluding a couple of days where I had a spoonful of peanut butter... in over three weeks now. I feel lousy, but I guess that's part of the detox. No doubt, we all know that sugar has been filling up a big hole in my life, although not successfully. I physically feel like shit, and also emotionally. Well maybe the doctor was right, maybe I am depressed, but I am not interested in medication. Maybe I have a right to be depressed.

Which reminds me, tomorrow I go back to get the results of my blood test, so we'll see about that. And I'm trying to finish up work on my shitty job, even though the lady asked me if I would consider working only ONE day a week, and no housework... but when she said that I felt my whole body get depressed, so ultimately I don't think it's a good idea. Although it looks like easy money from the outside, she's just draining- and I don't know exactly how to explain it to people, the situation just IS.

Today I spent time with my brother and my niece, my brother of course was late (45 min) which drives me insane and makes me want to kill him every time. He is so fucking inconsiderate. I would probably not see him at all if it weren't for my niece. Who, by the way, is getting kind of spoiled by him... I get a little perturbed that he lets her eat the nonstop crappy food, like gummy bears, ice cream, chocolate milk, etc etc. A lot of the time she doesn't even ask for it, he offers it to her out of nowhere, and I just feel like- she's got the rest of her life to eat crap. She's 2, and her body does not need this garbage. I just know what sugar has done to my body, and it's been hell trying to reverse it. And this is my brother with kidney disease, and diabetes runs in the family, so hey! How about we just hold off on the sugar right now, at least when we can have some sort of control over it?

Love,
Duck

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