Life is fine when I'm sleeping. Then I wake up and feel like there's lead in my chest.

Nothing's happened, we talk on the phone, with not much to say. Ask each other how we're feeling. The answer is always the same. Sad. The sadness blocks everything else, all other interests. Nothing seems important enough to talk about, and if one of us tries to talk about something else, it's obvious that it's just an attempt to divert from the sadness.

It never works.

Pain encompasses everything for me, everything else is numbed by pain. I've only been eating one meal about every 24 hours, because that's the only time I feel any hunger. I am indifferent to walking long distances, staying up late, physical discomfort of any sort, and public opinion. That's why I'm able to lift weights. Usually it would feel so boring, scheduled and tedious, but not even that can get to me. Good trick, huh? My biceps never saw it coming.

Will see each other tonight, an "experiment".

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