Oh Diary,

I am so sorry I've been gone so long. I don't even know where to begin.

Life was just too hectic with all the work I had to do, and then I went on vacation courtesy of Petra and Michael.

Another twist and some further drama- Alphie and Grace decided to jump on the wagon and "follow" me on my vacation with Michael and Petra. Then, they were upset that I didn't want to do what they wanted me to. Mainly, Grace tried to convince me that she and I should "give" Alphie a "special" night.

Here's the thing. I traveled more miles than anyone else to get there, I'm exhausted from working a full week, flying on a plane, etc., and Grace's main worry is giving Alphie his dream night with two girls.
Here's the other thing: I didn't even buy my own ticket, so I felt like I should do what Michael and Petra wanted to do. Not be put all in the middle because somebody else decides to hijack my vacation.
Here's the last thing: I don't want to give Alphie anything, anymore, ever again.

I managed to avoid all that mess by telling Grace I didn't feel comfortable since I was someone else's guest. She was upset, but I decided she can just be mad at me. There was a bit of tension in the air for most of my vacation, but what are you going to do?

The vacation itself was wonderful- aside from people being mad-I was very relaxed...

When I got home, Grace called and said she was disappointed and her feelings were hurt because she really wanted to spend time with me, and she expected that I would stand up to Michael and Petra and make that known. The dumb part about all this is she never ASKED or expressed that she wanted time alone with me; she only expressed her desire to give Alphie what he wanted. I pointed that out to her, and also, in a moment of clarity, told her that I no longer desire to be sexual with Alphie, because he doesn't respect my feelings, and I don't feel safe enough with him.

She seemed to take that in stride, truthfully I think she is feeling the effects of Alphie's lameness- his lazy, leeching, no-work ass; no communication, no vulnerability, no gratitude existence is surely wearing on her checkbook if not her last nerve.

At any rate, I am not opposed to being with Grace, but I'm not her boyfriend, so she shouldn't expect me to act like it. And as for her boyfriend, I'm not his girlfriend. NOT.

That should clear things up a bit.

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