Dear Diary,

I should be sitting here working but truthfully, yes, I am procrastinating once again. Although I have been better about returning calls right away and trying to stay on track as far as work. Been really on top of that.

I am a little embarrassed at my current money situation. I know I've said that before, so I guess I could say, I'm STILL embarrassed about my money situation.

But, whatever, I am doing the best I can do. I worked yesterday and got paid cash... I took that cash directly to the bank and deposited it in my checking account. I will send a check to Serena and get in financial integrity with her. She is not the most organized person in regards to keeping records, so I don't think she even knows that I was one payment behind for classes. And I have neglected to tell her about it, because I have been so embarrassed. And I watch myself do that, and I know I'm wrong- I could just say to people- listen, I'm having a hard time financially, etc, etc, and tell them the TRUTH- but I don't! What's up with that?!

I don't know.

I do know that I need to stop going to the diner after work with my friends. It is a drain financially even if I only spend 10 dollars everytime I go... that still adds up and in the past two weeks I've probably been to the diner 4 or 5 times.

And in other news, went to a lecture last night. Ben was actually in town and he came with Marva. Marva was all happy and the whole thing is so incredibly weird... I have seen Ben with so many women, it's hard for me to believe that Marva is anything new or special for him- anything more than another conquest. To add to the ridiculousness of it all, Ben gifted Marva with a dress- a dress I've seen before. Marie, Ben's "main" girlfriend, has the same one. And, I know where Ben got them and I'm guessing he has a little stockpile of dresses and clothes that he gives to his various woman. Sad, but true.

Would I want to be a woman in a "harem" of sorts, receiving all the same gifts as some other women? No, absolutely not. All the better reason to stay away from Elliot.

Who, by the way, I am seeing tomorrow. No, it's not a date... it's regarding those emails he sent me about personal questions and working together, and me saying I don't have those kinds of conversations via email.

Anyhow. I really need to focus on work.

Blah!

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