I don't have to do anything.

I don't have to move on or be different...

I don't have to feel the way you want me to.

I can feel what I feel, and what I feel is grief. A sensation that runs through the whole front of my body, my heart feels like it's breaking, it is a wave of hurt.

And so, so what, you don't get it, you don't want to see it, because it reminds you of something in yourself.

Too bad! Don't look then. Go. Go live your life full of distractions, of your people and difficult relationships, your television and video games, your ice cream and potato chips. Go and drown your own fear, grief, sadness and anger in these things. Go and be less and less of yourself, build more walls, don more armor, become hardened and thick and unfeeling.

And then wonder why love doesn't come to you. Why you feel so strange at night. What that nagging feeling is. Wonder away.

I can't help you.

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