Hey Diary,

I wish my life was more exciting because then I might have something to tell you- right now I don't have much! I went to Serena's class. I stayed with Stacey, which was okay, besides the fact that I feel like I sleep worse and worse every night I am there, and as a result look worse and worse every day. I hung out with Shelly for a bit, and that was nice. One of the nice things about it was that we didn't talk about Gia at all! I didn't really think about it but that is good for me, who normally continuously complains about everything.

But my throat was still swollen and sometimes hurting the whole time I was there. When I flew home it "broke" and I had a clogged face and runny nose all the next day. My doctor says I am just "detoxing" and that I should feel much better, more energy, when it's all done. Part of this is also having a really swollen belly due to die-off of viruses, parasites and whathaveyou. I feel most unattractive right now.

I wasn't able to go to work due to feeling so crappy on Thursday. But I had to go yesterday because I hadn't been in awhile, things were piling up and also most of the gang is leaving for (another) work trip on Saturday and I had to go check in with my boss and make sure I finished whatever she needed done. Also I had a bit of work for myself last night directly after that. Somehow I scheduled another two clients this weekend, but I put them both tomorrow in the hopes that if I rested up today I will feel much, much better... here's hoping. I have to drink a ton of water.

At the same time I have to do a TON of cleaning not just for my client, but also friends from out of town are dropping in on Monday. I guess I should be glad that at least they are not sleeping over. But still- how else could I cram my life together some more and create more stress for myself? Actually I am not feeling that stressed yet, maybe because I still have hope about getting an early start.

Incidentally I was feeling sick at this exact same time last year, when I was going to that event with Thomas and Gia and Gia was so mad at me for being ill. Of course I don't stay with them anymore but I guess it's just good that I didn't go this year for various reasons... one, that obviously my body is not up for the physical part but also just not to see Gia and Thomas and have them judge me yet again because I am a human being and I don't always feel well. I am still rather confused by it all and mentioned it to a friend, she suggested me taking some kind of steps to express that I miss the connection with them, or at least Thomas, because he is not really the type of person to come forward or initiate anything. So in Serena's class on Monday I decided to be brave. He and I speak (rather superficially) in that class so I just said, "I miss you, Thomas." and he said, "I miss you too, Duck." And that was it. Maybe he will take it as the opening of a doorway or maybe not. I still have a lot of irritation with Gia because I just feels like she knows better and she is being a shit. But maybe we can address that another time.

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