Hi, be proud of me, I just finished retyping my whole resume (I had to retype it because for some reason the original disk it was on refused to open- destroyed somehow). At any rate, now I have the resume, references, and will have the letter to the other job on Monday. Very good.

Decided I will just keep making lists, and my goal will be to work on at least three things on the list per day... with the ultimate goal being to complete one thing totally per day.

Ah. Feeling a little better about myself. I suppose it's easy to get stuck in this despondent, stuck place, when I don't have much that I'm doing, so I can't feel like I've accomplished anything. I guess they (whoever they are) are right when they say human beings need a purpose in life.

Spoke with Frank about options for future career; etc. He's very plain that he thinks I should go back to school for XYZ. Thing is, I don't know if I want to do XYZ at all-- I know a couple of friends who went to school for that and it doesn't sound like the path I want to take. I want someone to tell me what to do, but then I don't want to do what they tell me to. Does that make sense?

I think I found a place to volunteer at also; I'm going to check it out.

And thinking today at lunch; love is just funny, isn't it? Because I don't really know how much is love, and how much is just trying to control our environments to feel safe. For example, if Frank left me, would I cry because Frank left me, or cry because I am alone? Is it about him, or me? Or both? In any case I am aware of extreme abandonment issues and don't even know how to tackle them. It doesn't help that I've been thinking of the ex-- not in that I want to be back in a relationship with him, but just about the sex part. I hope Frank gets his mojo back soon. I miss it. And I need it.

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