Hi Diary.

I'm a little scared. Ex just called. I had to break the news to him that I am not moving back to my hometown. He kind of flipped. Just like I said, like a little kid having a tantrum. He said he wouldn't accept it. That if Frank was in the way he'd take care of it. I was like, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

I tried to explain, in my best KindergardenTeacher voice, that this was nothing personal. This is where Ex came in: I have a life going on. I have a boyfriend. A relationship. An apartment. Work. Etc. A life, in other words.

He doesn't seem to get it. He seems to think that it would be enough that he just decided he wants a girlfriend, and now he's angry because he's not getting his way.

That's what's so scary. I didn't realize he was so backwards, and now I'd actually be scared to see him. Like what is he going to do, kidnap me? It happens, who knows he could be that much off his rocker. Would he try to hurt Frank? Maybe. I don't know. I mean you see those kinds of things on TV, and the more I look at it the more disturbed Ex seems to be...

I said, listen, this isn't personal. This is where you came in. That seems to make a little bit of sense for him. I said, we are friends, we have been for many years. You know I care about you, and that you can count on me. But he said, "I wish you hadn't told me this now. Thanks for ruining my whole weekend." Which was a cold, passive-aggressive thing to say, and also, "Yeah, that's why I want you here. I want the whole nine yards."

Never mind that we never had emotional intimacy. What he wants is sex, which he thinks is intimacy. He has the mind of a dangerous child. It implies that he can own these things about me.

And it scares me to listen to him.

eek.

Don't ask me how I have a history with this person. My father used to say, "Duck brings home all the lost puppy dogs." Meaning, I suppose, that I have too much compassion for people better left alone.

eek.

eek.

eek.

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