Dear Diary,

Not much new to report. Worked a lot yesterday and worked out a lot too. GymMan suggested the possibility that I may be working out TOO much. I didn't know that was possible. I guess I'm kind of compulsive. He suggested I need to give my body a rest now and then, since I'm always tired and sore.

I've been going five days a week, and am totally addicted. I am starting to see results already, in my arms. Not always, just when I turn them certain ways, I notice more muscular definition, and a little more tightness. And I notice that my thighs don't rub together like they used to. That's a pretty good feeling. I feel much leaner, and like my shoulders and collarbones are more defined, my waist smaller. I don't know if other people notice these changes, no one has really said anything to me.

It helps me feel in control, to be doing this everyday. Some days I don't even feel like going, but I go anyway. On days I am depressed about Frank, it helps a lot. I hop on that elliptical thingy and it must shoot some endorphins into my brain, because suddenly I feel much better about myself and that I deserve better. Maybe I will call it the Confidence Machine.

Legs flailing in little circles, going nowhere, I think, "Fine, buddy. You just lost the best thing EVER. I deserve somebody who SHOWS UP. I'm not ENOUGH for you? Well, I'd like to meet the woman who IS, cause I'd probably fuck her MYSELF. Now watch my gorgeous, muscular ASS as I walk away!" Stuff like that.

Maybe GymMan is right, if I spend too much time on the Confidence Machine I will turn into a horrible tyrannical dictator and take over the planet, so I better watch it.

Love,

Duck

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