Hi Diary,

I know I've been gone awhile, so today I'm going to try to give you a little update on how things have been. Here's the scoop on several people I've mentioned in the past:

ALEDA: Thank God, she's gone! I couldn't believe my good fortune. Hah. One day, in class, the teacher had a huge outburst, and criticized everyone for being incompetent, not paying attention, and not putting forth any effort (I wasn't there, so I missed it). But, this seemed to be a turning point. Aleda never went back, because I guess she took it personally. Aleda can't handle anyone not being completely enthralled with her, so she dropped out. She tried to keep in touch, like one time we went out for dinner, but didn't really have much to talk about. Sometimes I would run into her, and she kept asking if I had a boyfriend, so finally I told her yes (I don't know if she heard it through the grapevine). I didn't want to give her the details on M though for reasons I may have to explain in another entry, another time. She was in town for awhile and occasionally would call me and sometimes she needed things. I was always conveniently busy or working or whatever, I really just wished we could separate. For good... Last I heard she was traveling out of the country for two months. Fine with me. Thanks, Universe.

EMILY: Still my good friend, with some wrinkles. Emily and I took a trip this summer and during that trip I learned that she's kind of a control freak. I would often feel her displeasure with me. She gets upset and doesn't say anything, but you can feel that something's wrong. And, unfortunately Diary, I think she is incredibly upset that I have M. At first she was happy and excited that I had someone. But then sometimes I would notice when I talk about him, she acts weird. I don't know if she feels he's taking me away from her- when M and I went on vacation, for example she told me "not to be mean" and to call her while I was gone. Or, I don't know if she's upset that she doesn't have a bf. She tends to be attracted to really unavailable guys- married or gay- like she's actually said, wow, that guy's really handsome- and it's so obvious he's not heterosexual, no one can believe she can't see it. So, I think she has some frustration around her own love life, and things she needs to work on. She has a really hard time, it seems, just understanding the process of things- like if I told her that M and I had a serious conversation and we both cried, she says something "Well, maybe you shouldn't go out anymore." As if a relationship should be perfect all the time and nobody has any bad feelings. So you can bet that I didn't tell her about various bumps with M, because she would just tell me to break up with him, rather than listening or offering the support that I need. She has always been pretty bad at returning calls, but lately I haven't been pursuing her as much as I used to. I am tired of calling, waiting for a response, calling again, and again... about plans we made, etc. Once she told a group of friends that sometimes she doesn't even check her messages, she just figures if it's important, the person will call her back. Well, we talked about doing something tomorrow, but I've called her twice this week and sent her an email, with no response. So I made other plans.

ALPHIE: Oh, were you waiting for this one? Alphie and I barely speak. Not out of anger, but just because I don't make any attempts to contact him. Occasionally he will write me a message on MySp@c3, something short and lovey lovey, and sometimes I write back. The one time I did call him, he was visiting Michael and Petra, he was high, he talked about himself the whole time and didn't ask me about myself. He travels a lot now and I guess this has caused some tension between him and Grace, as sometimes he is away for a month and a half. I don't know if she is still supporting him or if he is more fully contributing to the household. I never told him about M (because remember he never asked me about myself) and also because he always had the attitude that something was wrong with me in regard to sex- (haha- you can go back and read about our sexual encounters if you like) that I wasn't casual enough, or that I just needed a good fuck to heal whatever is wrong with me (too bad he couldn't provide it, BTW). So I didn't want him to know about M, a) because I didn't want him in my business, and b) because I didn't want him to gloat and think, 'oh, good Duck's finally getting some.' So when Petra told him I had a bf, she said Alphie's face dropped in disbelief. Maybe he thought I was frigid because of our chilly encounters (in which I felt like he was completely empty, and we were completely disconnected), or completely incapable of being in relationship. In any case, after he found out, he wrote me an email inviting M and I to come and visit he and Grace. Um, I don't think so. For one, M has heard all about Alphie, and is no hurry to meet him. Why would we want to do that? Plus I haven't talked to Alphie in probably a year or more, out of the blue he emails and invites us to visit. It's all very strange, and maybe part of the way Alphie always tries to play nice, but I can't really imagine the four of us hanging out. (BTW, Petra did mention that when Grace heard, she was very very happy for me, and I do believe that is genuine). I have also heard throught the grapevine that there has been a lot of drama between A & G, no surprise there, and involves some cheating, lying, and lots of drugs, but let's not go there, okay?

PETRA & MICHAEL: Still together, still in a sea of drama, as always, but very loving. Last time I saw them together was in January. Then M and I saw Michael in March. They love me. I love them.

SIMON: After he sort of/almost assaulted me, I stayed away from Simon for about six months. I did go and see him and we have been friends again since then. At first he was trying to pull that "I love you" stuff again, and I told him to forget it. Then I met M, and now he knows better. Although he has been flirtatious and last time he was even flirtatious and saying lewd things in front of M, which I was very uncomfortable about and I think was pissing M off too. But, there you have it.

WISCONSIN: Haven't heard from him again. Don't miss him.

DON: And I are actually still friends. I was actually very sad that Don was ignoring me more and more. In my last entry in 2006, I was away at Michael and Petra's and feeling bad that Don had not called me. On the other hand, M and I hadn't gone out yet but had only been talking on the phone, and M called me a lot, as well as remembering days when I was flying and texting me to have a good flight, etc. After I came back, M and I had our first date. When he left, I went to see Don the next day at work, where he couldn't avoid me. He was very slippery, and I just pointblank told him I noticed he was avoiding me and if he didn't want to see me anymore, that was okay with me. He insisted that wasn't the case, but nothing ever really happened after that. I saw him here or there and knew that he had gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend. Then one day he said he wanted to come over and take me out to lunch. We were sitting in my house, and talking about his girlfriend. He expressed feeling kind of bad because now he was limited in who he could go out with. And he told me he missed me. I informed him that I was seeing someone, and he was very surprised (what is it about these guys being so surprised?). At lunch, he confessed that back in December and January he had been avoiding me, and he apologized. I accepted his apology. He asked a little about M, and I got the sense that he was definitely disappointed about me being involved with someone else. But, as time's gone on... there is really no tension between us now. I see him and his gf and everything is groovy. They have even met M and all is well.

CF: Oh, her, yes I saw her this summer. She still thinks she's hot shit. She tried to embarrass me at a conference, but I know that it's her shame, not mine. I could go another year without seeing her.

Well, I think that's a significant update for one day.
Maybe tomorrow I'll tell you about the fabulous man in my life.

Love,
Duck

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