Dear Diary,

I am in a mood. What to say?

After my pukefest this morning, I went to see Kate. We went down an entire list of possibilities for what might happen with M at our meeting next week- me staying over, not staying over, us having physical affection, not having physical affection... etc.

Also the things I had the most trouble with was this idea of him being separate from me, having needs and experiences of his own. It's pretty interesting, definitely one of the dark aspects of my personality!

Oh well. I have let go of so much already, haven't I? I'm sure I can let go of this.

I then went to therapy which was relatively uneventful, because I had already done all my crying this morning. Then to work.

Red is out of town and that is always hard. I did talk to Keith. I can see how I just long for someone to tell me I'm okay.

I wish I could convince myself that I'm okay...

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