Oh Diary,

In the mornings I wake up sad. I really don't like it.

I don't know if I should go to another hypnotherapist... I really didn't like the last one so much as I felt really terrible the day following our session... so... I guess it's hard to find somebody you can trust in that field. Apparently the idea is you should feel an incredible sense of relief after that work, not worse.

I talked with Keith last night about going to visit him for a week in May. I might even be able to do some consultation and write the whole thing off as a business trip. I know that I have been all over the place with work and training, but for some reason, I feel that I just need to do something really enjoyable, for myself. Obviously M is going out and doing what HE thinks is important... I need something that will enrich my heart and soul - (going out drinking and partying, like M, is not going to do it).

I don't know if I'm being completely responsible, you know, financially. I have a fair amount of debt, so anytime I indulge in an extra trip, I don't know if it's the right thing. But if I can make some money while I'm there, I can at least justify it for myself. Sometimes I get angry, my irrational anger, because M is pretty well off and can do whatever he wants. It's just my envy. I make my own money... he makes his.

I'm just pissed in general because no one likes to get "left".

I'm working it out.

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