#2
Hi Again Diary,
Well after another DVD and lots of sweating (the heating pad HARDLY helps with cramps most of the time but causes bucket of sweat to drip from my back and thighs- weird)- nothing much exciting to report. Ha! Were you looking for something exciting?
I thought of another M thing that I liked:
Whenever I had my period he would gladly massage my legs and feet, and he would also sometimes talk to me in a very soothing "relax" kind of voice. It sounds funny but sometimes it would actually work, like hypnotism. At that time also my problems were much worse, I could barely stand without wanting to throw up from the pain. But anyway. That sure was nice of him, wasn't it?
Actually we were very much into the massage thing. If I rubbed his feet he would act like I was giving him a blowjob, it apparently felt so good. So I would rub him a lot. We only saw each other usually on weekends, but I gave him lots of full-body and partial massages. Maybe I spoiled him. Good luck getting massages from your one night stands! Ha ha. Single life sucks.
Yes, I actually wrote that and with a sense of humor too. I must be feeling better about myself.
Also, M also bought me some really fabulous jewelry (I always picked it, but he was more than happy to buy it). When Frank and I broke up, I wouldn't wear the jewelry he bought for me for months and months, maybe a year. I guess because it made me sad.Not the case here. I love every piece M gave to me... they're all so ME, that I don't feel that way about them.
What now? I do not know. I have just been floating around here writing several emails in an attempt to arrange things for my presentation this weekend... it's not so bad. I tend to be QUITE the procrastinator, did you know that?
Now I am checking my paypal and checking accounts. The old woman down the hall, whom I hate running into, must love to put some doom and gloom into my life. She likes to talk about two things, primarily: 1) her own personal aches and pains, and 2) how expensive everything is. Today she had to tell me how we are in recession. Okay. Like I need to freak out about that right now... I know we are bumming, I know about gas and oil, but then people freak themselves out even further by panicking about it. Jeez. This is why I avoid her.
Speaking of spending and whatnot, I lost my lovely headset. The brand new one that I had to order online for my phone? Well I actually lost it about 2 weeks ago. Last time I remember having it was the time I went back to the gym.... and I stopped to talk to one of the security guards on my way out. I ripped it out of my ear and stuck it in my bag, but apparently not deep enough. I have to communicate with the security guards, see, since I'm being tricky. I'll tell you why.
The gym, as I explained before, is located in the building in which I used to work. There are three entrances to the building and each is covered by security. The big pain in the ass is when I get stopped by security and have to explain why I'm there. I no longer have an employee's pass, so I have to tell them I am here to visit my friend GymMan and work out with him in the gym. Then they have to try his extension to get confirmation of my story. Usually he's not there so then I have to call him on my cell- thus wasting valuable daytime minutes which the phone company obviously MULTIPLIES when they print it on the bill... and then it is a requirement that GymMan has to come and RETRIEVE me, and if we are alone in the elevator - the only place lacking security, I believe- he tries to hug me and kiss me on the lips. Ugh.
So, to avoid this pain-in-the-ass rigamorole, I have a new method- I enter via the largest, main entrance with the most people going through it, on the far side of the security post. There is a sign that says ALL VISITORS MUST CHECK IN WITH SECURITY, but I am pretending I am a regular worker there, so I try to go in as nonchalantly as possible. Sometimes I fake talking on the phone or looking at documents. The last couple of times it's worked, and I've been able to successfully get into the building and up to the gym, where the last hurdle is knocking on the window and getting someone to let me in- because I need a pass for that too. Anyway, that part's not too hard. When I leave the building, I make sure to wave and say hi, or possibly start a small conversation with, the security person.
The security personal rotate their schedules so you never know who will be guarding what entrance. But I figure if they see me exiting enough and I am friendly and relaxed and look like I belong there, that they won't card me when I am entering. See? I thought of this all by myself! Just to avoid being felt up in the elevator! I'm extremely proud of myself. Granted, it's no Ocean's 11 or Mission Impossible, but it is a small feat in itself.
Yes. I know. I need to find someone to have sex with. And soon. (sigh).
I chose my card for tonight and got, "taking time to just be" so that is my focus right now. When I read that, my whole body just relaxed. That's always a good sign.
I'm so way past my new, healthier bedtime, so I've got to go. I don't think I'll be going to the gym tomorrow either. Now I'm feeling pressured for work. It's tough to make a commitment for everyday at NOON. Very inconvenient....
Later.
Duck
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