Dear Diary,

I didn't think I would write an entry tonight because I am super, super exhausted... but, somehow I got inspired.

I didn't sleep last night. Nope. I was tired, but as usual, as soon as I make a commitment to getting up early, I have a fit of insomnia. At 2:30am I was still awake! So I decided to just get up and do some things I had planned to do in the morning. I called Keith because we have such a radical time zone thing going on, so usually I always have someone to call.

It was an all right call, but he kind of irks me. Ever since we had that conversation about the money... I don't know... he got all weird. Then last night he was also saying things about Serena, and how he doesn't like her. Okay, but she is still smart and a good teacher... but he's kind of like a "throw the baby out with the bathwater" kind of guy. I bitch about people all the time (see last 27 entries) but I can also acknowledge their good qualities.

Anyway before I knew it it was 4 o'clock in the morning! (Isn't it so cool that o'clock is a word?) I practically hung up on Keith (he kept talking and talking even though I kept saying, oh my god, it's 4 in the morning and I have to go to bed) and finally I felt the blessed ebb and flow of falling to sleep!

But. I. Had. To. Get. Up. At 7am!!! Argh. Honestly Diary I do not know how I made it through the day. I told myself I knew better, why did I schedule my time at the conference for morning? Never again, never again.

The day went great, though. I met so many attractive men, and, the funny part is... I decided to make myself somewhat memorable by bringing snacks. Apples and bananas, and these little cracker things and the rest of the cookies my mother had sent me. They loved them! And there was something so satisfying to me to watch the men eat my fruit and cookies. Weird, huh? It still makes me happy when I think about it.

By the end of the day I was so tired I could barely see straight. And of course Emily is in town for only 2 days and she calls all excited and "meet me for dinner!" which I agree to but almost fall asleep on the bus. We go out to dinner with her cousin, which is all fine but I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not paying for dinner because I don't really get to pick anything that we are ordering. This is the downside of having fairly well-off friends who always pay. I am generally not consulted and then I know she is planning on paying for everything- okay- but I don't get to choose what I want to eat! Because we agreed to order a bunch of appetizers and next thing I know the other girls had it all figured out.

Whatever. I was too tired to fight or make a stand or even order my own dinner. I ate a bit of everything, and was so hungry I thought I would make it to dessert but did not.

I'm sorry but even though Emily has moved away I have to be petty. Things that bug me about Emily (some of this behavior is very odd and makes me think she has a stick up her butt about something):

1) She always says she is not hungry, and doesn't order for herself, but then immediately wants some of your food as soon as you get it.

2) She picks at one piece of bread in the basket, eventually eating the whole thing, but will not just take a slice and put it on her plate. She also does this with appetizers, cutting them in half, but then will continue to pick at smaller and smaller denominations off the serving plate until it is gone. Therefore one never knows if she is truly done with the food or if she wants it for herself. What's up with that? She is not anorexic either so that's not it.

3) She got all upset because the restaurant did not take credit cards. Weird I know, but I kind of suspected because I had been there before and I think they used to but couldn't anymore. I told Emily as we were waiting for the check, and then pointed out that there were no credit card stickers on the front door of the restaurant. She insisted that if they didn't, there should be a sign out front. Well of course the waitress comes and says, no credit cards, and then Emily is upset and asking why it is not on the door, why is it not on the menu? The poor waitress is like 19 years old and probably doesn't even know. Plus I already told Emily that was the case, but she still had to pick a fight?

4) Despite the fact that she knew I had about 3 hours of sleep, worked all day and was exhausted, and that her cousin was tired too, Emily was lagging and taking her time finishing off the mililiter of wine in her glass, and got all pissy because cousin and I put our coats on. She then charged out the door, refusing to speak to us and walking ten feet ahead. What the FUCK is up with that?

Maybe something is going on her life. She is still dating Mr. G but I guess kind of figuring that life will not be working out with him. I know she is unhappy with her work situation/moving but why is she taking it out on her friends back home?

Also she asked if I had heard from M, and tried to say something about me being better, but I can't talk about it to anyone. Well, not anyone but you, Diary. Because Emily is the queen of platitudes... and I just can't stand it... I am not better at all, I am not happy or over him and nobody can say anything bad about him to me because I am still in love with the guy, and there is nothing anyone can say that will change that. So just let me be.

Now I am truly exhausted, why am I still awake?

They ate my apples! :)

Love,
Duck

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