Dear Diary,

Slept extra late today, and woke up feeling sad and, oddly enough, ashamed. Good thing my therapist is back tomorrow.

Red called me to check in and see how the date went. I told him the details and how I want to call M... but first I really have to make sure that I am not sabotaging myself all the time.... it may take some time. I guess my biggest obstacle is patience. I get the feeling that Red doesn't have much faith that M has changed or will change. Who knows.

So I don't know what to say, or do. I wish this diary could be more interesting, and more about me being a happy and contented person, less about all this emotional longing and crap. But I guess even writing that is another judgment about myself. I might have to talk to Serena about it all.

I've cleaned the house a bit, and I've got to work tonight. Just keep moving forward, that's my motto...

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