#2

Dear Diary,

Cleaned up the house today, had to be done. Actually spent 40 minutes in the sun, 20 minutes each side... so I feel good about finally doing that.

After that, I went to therapy. It was pretty exhausting. Just the usual stuff.

Then, work, which was actually lots of fun. I finished up and rushed home to take a shower and get ready, because Paul said he would call (I had told him I would be done around 9pm). Quarter after and I was pretty hungry... I did whatever I could around the house, then started making dinner at about 9:30. I felt pretty pissed... but then I figured maybe he was just picking up on my ambivalence. Then he called about quarter of 10... said he had already gone to the gym and eaten... so that was obvious we were not going out.

I don't know if this is how the younger folks do it, but, I'm not really having fun. I like guys who make a plan, ask if I have a night free, and then make a plan. This "I'll call you Monday and MAYBE we can do something..." all that- I can't handle it. Because then I am wondering if I'm supposed to eat something, or should I be waiting for a call? Ugh. You know I have to know if I'm going to be fed, because my blood sugar starts dropping and then I go nuts! Obviously. Anyway, it doesn't matter because there is pretty much no chemistry anyway! So there you go.

I made a good dinner of fish, salad with avocado and carrots. For the last couple of days I've been doing well with eating. I guess it's just a matter of one day at a time.

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