I want to tell you [ 2008-10-29, 12:31 p.m. ]

I want to tell you that I miss you...

I want to tell you that life would have been better if you stayed. I want to tell you how foolish you have been.

I want to tell you that I'm doing just fine, but I know that's not really true. I want to tell you that the past year hasn't been hard at all. I want to tell you that I'm fine now, and have been fine for a long time.

(again, not true).

I want to tell you how crushed and shattered I have been, so you really get it, and don't think this is a game. I want you to know how serious this was for me. I want to tell you what a set up our last phone conversation was. I want to tell you that I hate it when you act fake and superficial.

I want to tell you that I know the truth... that your life is not easy. I want to tell you that I know you are not happy either. I want to tell you that I could help you if you'd let me, but I know you probably don't want that either.

I want to tell you about the pain of rejection, but I guess you already know about that. I want to tell you that I waited a long time for you and we are perfect for each other... but in reality I know you have a lot of work to do on yourself.

I want to tell you something, and nothing. I want to tell you the truth, and at the same time appear much stronger than I actually am. I don't want to feel this rejection anymore.

So I guess I can't call you.

Happy Anniversary.

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