Dear Diary,

Spent about 6 hours on FB today... bored as hell. Tired of coughing and being exhausted and not being able to breathe!

Damn.

I did take my shower, put on makeup, get dressed... took a while to find pants. That fit. I am in big trouble. Getting bigger.

Swing called and said he would be held up an hour at work, so we made arrangements to meet at a restaurant closer to my house. He took me to an Italian place, really nice... apparently he's a foodie type of guy... cooks and everything. Said he would make me dinner sometime. He seems to like pasta. I'll just get fatter.

He kind of joked about me sending him strong signals regarding asking him out. I said I have to do that because men rarely ask me out.

He also was probing a little... somehow, real smooth-like, he slipped into the conversation and asked if I wanted to have kids- I guess because I was talking about how everyone in my hometown now has kids. I just told the truth, how I feel about kids- sometimes I want them and sometimes I don't. It depends on the person I'm with, because I don't want to do it alone. And I am torn about responsibility to the earth (upping the population) and the divine, delightful experience of holding my own child to my breast.

Pretty heavy topic for a first date.

At some point in the evening he said he was having trouble seeing me because of the lighting, and asked if he could sit next to me on the banquette. It was uncomfortable with his arm around me- not enough space- so we settled for his hand on my knee. Then after a bit he asked if he could kiss me. "In the restaurant?!" I asked, feigning shock. We kissed. It was okay- felt better than Elliot, except Swing pushed a little too hard with his mouth, and tried to use his tongue too soon. Oh, men, slow it DOWN, my brothers, there is no hurry!

Still. He was comfy. We cuddled there for some time, talking... he stroked my arm, smelled my hair, kissed my head as if we've been going out a year. Kooky. At one point his hand slid around and I imagined he was searching for skin... but I had my (fat) pants pulled up so high and probably stiffened quite palpably, because I was worrying about him touching my stomach roll. Ugh. I hate where I am right now in terms of my weight.

He had to work early in the morning, so he walked me to the appropriate bus stop.

And that's all for now.

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