#2

Dear Diary,

Why am I back here again? I don't know.

Today was my day off after a very busy working weekend. I made some money but still not enough to quell my anxiety about my rising debt and numerous bills. Oh well oh well.

I slept late, ate a little and then walked to the post office. It was freezing outside and I didn't enjoy the walk very much. I saw my favorite postman on his route and we had a nice chat about yoga. I told him he should start with a slow and simple form to avoid injuries, as he's got problems from lifting heavy packages.

Then back at home where all I really want to eat is sugar, but I made dinner with beef, salad and brown rice. I am going off wheat, and hopefully sugar, again. Inspired by Petra and how well she is doing on her own diet of avoiding the foods she is allergic too- although the plain truth of it is that she and Michael cheat all the time on the stuff they eat.

I also spent over an hour on the phone with the airlines, trying to figure out why I can't redeem my frequent flyer miles online like I'm supposed to. The guy that assisted me was extremely helpful, but for whatever reason neither he nor his supervisor was able to redeem my points. Finally I was instructed to send an email to another department, and if they don't get back to me in 5 days (?!) I was told I should call again.

For whatever reason, even though I was in a relatively good mood, I went into an emotional tailspin at the end of the call and started to cry. Five days? All the sale tickets will be gone by then. Now I feel really bad for that guy that was helping me, but at the time I really couldn't stop.

Maybe I am tired, and stressed, and I don't know... maybe it was my grief leaking out...?

And since I was in such a state I figured what the hell, and I also called a woman who owes me money and always says she will send it but never does. Well. She answered the phone and said she was extremely embarrassed and keeps forgetting, and that she doesn't have the money this week but she will have it next week. So she was writing a message for herself to send it next week and you can bet I will be calling her again as well.

Once I'm done with her, I have two other people that combined owe me almost $700, which would be nice to have at this juncture in my life. I think I will no longer give people any kind of credit or believe they will devote to paying me back without strict schedules, so I will do my best to avoid that kind of stuff altogether.

Meanwhile, I owe everybody... credit card, dentist, my mother, B... shit, shit, shit. But I guess this is what's wrong with the entire country!

No surprise that Swing didn't call to make any plans. He's got 3 hours before Monday is officially over, and then, really, I've got to cut him loose before I get in any deeper with yet another guy that is inconsiderate.

Really.

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