Dear Diary,

Yeah, someday I should follow my own advice...

I called Smitten from the airport before my plane left in the morning... more often than not I have been getting his voicemail which is disappointing. I usually don't leave a message and I didn't this time either.

When my plane landed there was a message from him asking me if I was on the ground... I called him back... we chatted for a bit and I was trying to see what he was doing. He said he'd had a cold for a couple of days and wasn't feeling well. So I asked him if he felt like getting together and probably there was a lot of hope in my voice so now I'm regretting that... but he did say to come on by and maybe we could get something to eat but he wasn't feeling good so we wouldn't be doing much.

So I went over straight from the airport and Smitten did look pretty terrible. But we hung out a bit and then went searching for something vegetarian that he felt like eating. I got a vegetarian cobb salad and it was delicious! Having a date with Smitten is not like having a date with a regular guy, where the guy looks at you and asks you about yourself. Instead Smitten talks to every random person walking by and the people at the next table, oohing and aahing and threatening to steal their desserts. It's rather interesting.

It was time to go because he obviously was feeling worse and worse and didn't want to do anything but go home and have tea and take a hot shower and crawl into bed. I was feeling bad for him; and thought maybe I made a bad decision in coming over, being too enthusiastic and whatnot. But he did say he was glad he got to see me, because he is working constantly until he leaves on Tuesday. I am bummed about that but he said he would let me know if he could squeeze me in for acupuncture on Tuesday. I am also bummed about THAT because I wanted a lot of treatment before he left!!

So anyway, every day is a lesson in letting go and trusting that if something is meant to be, it will be. I also have some tools that I know help me connect me to myself and fill up, so I need to use those. It's good that I can recognize my neediness and attend to it myself...

Off to work soon...

Love,
Duck

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