Dear Diary,

Dreamt of Smitten again this morning.

First of all there was something about me moving into a different apartment with some friends- it was a big place with several rooms, very elegant, and my rent would be cut in half. I can't really remember who the friends were, kind of conglomerations of girls that I know. One of them had a little dog, who could get into my room even if the door was closed.

I was sitting at a table with him and some other friends- I think Emily was there, and maybe Steffy, I'm not really sure, it seemed to be that weird conglomeration thing. But Smitten and I were having our usual banter which of course is very flirtatious. And just like in real life, he was using all this innuendo and said something about "dirty time"? (LOL I'm not sure). Anyway I said, "When ARE we going to have dirty time?" excitedly and just then he kissed me, full on, tongue kiss, everything, so we were making out for a bit. Then I pulled away and we were kind of laughing, no one else at the table really seemed to have noticed and was reacting to the fact that we'd been making out.

Then some other things happened, mainly Smitten pulled out a newspaper, put on reading glasses, and began to smoke a cigarette. I wanted to tell him not to smoke, but I decided to just let him be, even though I didn't like it. And one of the girls at the table, now I remember, had a thick Spanish accent, and she asked me something which I couldn't understand. She asked me again and finally I understood that she was asking me if Smitten had gold fillings? I turned and pulled the paper away from Smitten's face, and asked if he had gold fillings. He responded by opening his mouth, revealing a whole mouthful of gold fillings, and put the cigarette out on his tongue. I really didn't even notice the butting out of the cigarette part- I actually noticed the fillings more- but the other women at the table gasped at the sight of it.

Cut to another scene in the dream. It seemed I was connected somehow to Smitten still, in this romantic, sexual way, but the next thing you know I'm naked, and being fondled and massaged by another man, almost like a demonstration. There are other people around watching, and I am kind of turned on, thinking of the prospect of my lover (Smitten) watching me with another man (the other man feels like someone familiar, like a colleague I've worked with or someone I've seen on TV, but I can't think of who). I can't remember at this time HOW interested Smitten was in this whole thing, or even if he was still reading the paper. But then I had the sense that he was going to come over to the other side of me, and both men would be touching me and pleasuring me. This turned me on to no end, and then I woke up.

Haha. I can't even have sex in my dreams!!!

So, that's the story. I try to think about what it means:

1. The apartment part: not really sure if it's so much about really moving. Later in the dream I found out that Evelina was actually still living there and I would have to wait until she was out to move in. So I'm not sure if it's so much about physical movement, or more about money? Because a specific number came up and I'm wondering if that has something to do with it.

2. Smitten, and the kissing- well of course I want to kiss him, and it makes me crazy that we haven't. So this craziness extends to my dreams? Then the part where he has glasses and smokes (which he doesn't do either one, in really life) is maybe about me accepting his faults and not trying to change him. I'm not sure what the fillings represent, or why he put the cigarette out on his tongue. Perhaps it shows that nothing he does surprises me, and that I am more interested in what's real about him (the gold) than any distracting antics he might do.

3. The sexual "demonstration"? Got me. Really no idea. Other than I was thinking of Smitten as my "lover"- so again, the desire for him is there. I'm not sure what the other man represents, but maybe it isn't until Smitten sees me with another guy that he will make a move toward me. That's just a guess.

It could all be off!

Anyway, what an exciting way to begin a Tuesday!!

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