Dear Diary,

I don't really know what to say. It's been a very intense weekend of study. Good, but feels kind of tamped down. Some part of me is convinced I used to feel more.

Today, ten days after his last correspondence with me, I replied to Smitten. "Hi Smitten, I've been grieving too with the death of my friend. Hope you're feeling better and your project is going well. I guess I'll see you when you're back in town."

No little nicknames, no flirting. No more hopes and dreams that something good might actually come of this. Part of me wonders if it is cruel because I know this email sounds formal or even rude, but in reality I know that he is not good for me.

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