Dear Diary,

(Yes I had to punch that comma)

Today I realized that by the end of this month it will be two years since I've had sex. That is a damn shame, it is. Unbefuckinglievable, you know??

Huh. And it's not for lack of trying. Okay the first year and a half I was recovering and trying not to commit suicide everyday- so I give myself a break on that. But now, well, things are getting serious.

And really, the sad part is that I'm just not meeting anyone sexworthy. So it's not like I'm a prude or anything. I honestly tried to get something going on with Smitten, or Jerry, and those guys are as slippery as sea cucumbers. And the other guys I met- well there was Mickey who didn't know how to do anything but drink to have fun, and Capricorn who showed up drunk to not just one, but two dates- well that was asking for a little much on my part. And Gemini refused to kiss me and while I would like to have sex I would also like to kiss the person too. Is that asking too much? Have I missed something, like something that has happened in popular culture pertaining to dating or sex which says that now all hooking up is happening sans kissing? I'm just wondering.

Are there any men out there who are disease-free, reasonably clean and like to kiss while having sex?

You'd think it wouldn't be this difficult.

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