Dear Diary,

Today I would like to list my many successes:

1) I woke up at 11:30am! Okay, that's because I set my alarm, and I kept hitting the snooze button, but technically I was awake at that time. Because I needed to call Bethany and Marva about what time we were getting together today. But, Bethany was confused and thought we were getting together tomorrow. So we changed our plans, but I decided to stay up, even though I'd only gotten about 3 or 4 hours of sleep. Hoping it would make me tired, and I'd sleep tonight.

2) I got some work done! Spent some time sitting at the computer, as always... but sent out some important emails. I feel like I'm pretty much on top of things as far as marketing myself etc. Which is always hard for me.

3) I went to the bank! And I was able to deposit a check even though someone made a mistake and put last year's date on it (you know that first month of a new year when you keep writing the wrong date on all your checks?). Well, actually some weeks back a friend was not able to cash one of my checks for just that reason- so I was worried it would happen to me. But the bank girl didn't notice. I confess I set out to distract her by also asking if she had a tissue, right at the point when she was processing that check. I am pretty sneaky. But really. Anyway. It shouldn't count as deceit since it was a totally legal check and the person meant to give it to me and she just actually wrote the wrong date. I also stopped at the post office.

4) I went to the grocery store! And even though I didn't have a list, or cloth bags, I did have money and I did a pretty good grocery shop. I never seem to have food at home, and then on my down days I tend to sit in front of the computer and not go out of the house and there is nothing to eat. So I bought fish, tomato sauce, sheep cheeses, turkey, garden burgers, beans, tuna, mustard (which I am always out of) and capers (to put on fish), and some other stuff which I can't remember. I bought two packages of fish and put one in the freezer when I came home. Now I have pork and beef and fish and garden burgers in the freezer, pastas and sauce, and all sorts of stuff in the fridge. So I will be okay.

5) I made a fabulous dinner! Even though I ate it at 10pm, it was still fabulous and I was very proud of myself, because I cooked- I made brown rice and fish with butter and garlic and capers, and I also steamed some broccoli and had a whole avocado drizzled with olive oil and salt. It was quite delicious and there are leftovers. And then I washed all the dishes. And I did clean the toilet today. Though that's not really related to dinner. But I am proud of that fact nonetheless. While cooking I actually had a really nice conversation with Gail. As much as she frustrates me, I realize she has been my friend through a lot. I valued M above her, but he turned out to be a coward and who knows what else, but Gail just is who she is. She was even saying something to that effect- she will date a married man or fuck an old ugly man but she is very clear: if you want to have sex with me, you have to give me money or buy me really nice things, otherwise I have no time for you. Well. There are some who do likewise but would never say it out loud, but Gail will just tell it like it is.

6) I said no! A woman I had worked with previously contacted me about doing a promotional night. Last time I did that for her, she wanted me to fill a whole two hours of time, which turned out to be A LOT. It was almost like teaching a whole class, for free. I told her I would come and speak, but maybe for 30 minutes. She wrote back and said her format was a two-hour format, and suggested a date. I am very clear that I don't want to work that hard again for NO MONEY. That promotional day I did for her didn't even get me much in the way of clients- probably because it was so long people were just happy to have two hours of material for free. So I wrote back to her and said, "I respect your format but two hours is still too long for me. I would do an hour, so if you ever have an evening that I can split with another speaker just let me know." And then I very politely bid her adieu.

I think it's important to note here that this is groundbreaking for me to say no and walk away from stuff that I would formerly just be accommodating to!!

7) I finished a handout! Okay so... I have been meaning to make up some new printed materials for like, uh... a few years now. It's just been easy to use the materials that came from my certification trainings. But it's obvious they are not from my company and some of them are confusing or looking very ratty. So I sat down and constructed a new one. My intention is to make a whole batch of new ones that are all mine and no longer connect me to that company. There's a way that I truly feel this will somehow also enable me to make more money. I know I read in "Dare To Be Great" that I have to look more professional and all my printed materials should be of the highest quality. So I really have to get on the stick with this.

Other things I need to commit to:

a) buying a new printer
b) getting my copier fixed
c) redoing my website
d) getting professional photographs taken
e) going to the dentist

Yeah. I really need to do that last one.

Love,
Duck

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