Dear Diary,

Well it's been an interesting couple of days... when I got off my flight I was exhausted, but I had a lot of time to kill, so I called Red, and Delia, and Keith, and talked to a client, and brushed my teeth and hair and refreshed my makeup to the best of my ability (I was so tired and think I looked like shit regardless) and got on the bus to meet Shelby. He actually called me earlier than I thought he would and announced he was done, to my surprise- I was thinking he'd still be recovering from work or talking to his wife on the phone or something.

But it was okay, and I figured it was good- let him be a little hungry for me. Can't be too available, no we can't.

It was so nice to see Shelby- he looks quite handsome these days with a bit of facial hair. We went out to eat and split the check, talked a bit about some drama between people we know. When we were walking back to the car, he told me he'd bought me some chocolate. I thought that was the sweetest, no pun intended! We got back to his place, made "our" bed, and talked a little bit. Then I started getting cramps, and Shelby rubbed my belly a bit until it felt better. I had promised him a massage- and I really wanted to deliver. Yes, I know I was complaining just a week ago that I feel like he gets everything he wants and I am still not satisfied- but I realized that I really DID want to give to him. Also it was the second, and therefore worst day of my cycle and not only was I unsure of how much he would want to touch me at that point... but also I get very tense and it's not always fun for me, especially on the second day.

And what was also interesting was how vulnerable Shelby felt just around receiving, and he was worried about giving back to me. I told him he didn't have to, and I meant it. When I saw how worried he got, it made me realize how much Shelby gives to everybody all the time, and I really did want to spoil him a little bit. So I did... a nice back massage, and then a nice front massage. Ha. For an hour or two. Then he was very turned on and started teasing me- he is starting to realize that when he gets very forceful and masculine, holds me down or pinches, I just go crazy... and he likes that feeling of being in control, of me surrendering to him... so more fun is on its way, if I ever stop bleeding. He went to sleep happy, I woke up early several times with cramps... Most of the morning consisted of him rubbing my stomach and feet. I mean really, this has to get better... I'm supposed to be his treat, and it's like I'm his wife or something.

After that we drove together to today's seminar. He had to organize himself and call his wife, so I took a long stroll to the grocery store and back. (Just as a side note- Soon enough his wife will be ending her job and moving back here, I wonder how that will affect our visits. I assume they'll get a house and whatever, will she just go somewhere and I'll come over? Or will we meet at his office? I've never asked him about this).

Forgot to mention that Shelby's wife wants to talk to me. He forwarned me that it is nothing serious or bad, but rather that they have both realized that mine and Shelby's interactions are about much more than sex, and she wants to support my healing too... and that she is a little fearful about talking to me. I find that so strange- ME?! I feel like it should be the other way around. She is married to the guy- shouldn't I be worried about talking to her? I dunno. But actually I am not that nervous about talking to her. I've met her before, last summer, and she was very nice to me, she even lent me a tube top.

Yes, my life is that strange.

In any case, today was a bit taxing and exhausting for me but I made it through. I caught a ride with some other participants to Stacey's place. She was already in bed (with 5YO, of course) so I watched part of a movie with her husband.

Tomorrow is Serena's... so I need my rest!

Love,
Duck

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