#2

Hey Diary,

I'm back again. I woke up at 5:30am with cramps, and being totally unprepared for the situation. I spent some time ransacking the house for some kind of pain reliever, and yelling at the cat who kept getting in my way. I tried to lie down and relax myself enough to be able walk to the store, which I was hoping opened at six. When I was able to do that I went and bought some pads and ibuprofen. Then I took a hot bath and collapsed back into bed till about 10:30.

Made a reasonable breakfast and didn't do much else. Roc texted me that he was at the store with his daughter buying her a bathing suit. I think it was freaking him out a little as she is just fourteen and pretty, uh, developed. I texted him back but was hoping that was not his whole communication for the whole day. I was kind of starting to worry about it, and messing around on the computer when I noticed my FB flashing. He was IMing me on FB, I asked if he wanted to talk on the phone so he called me and we talked for a little over an hour.

Which is good and positive- even though he got a little arrogant, trying to impress me or something- but he also announced that he is quitting smoking TOMORROW. I'm not sure if his daughter has also been pressuring him to quit or what the impetus is, but I wish him luck.

The bad part in all of this is I have been watching how I get. I get nervous when I don't hear from him, I get upset thinking worst-case scenario; will he disappear, will he embarrass me, all before I even know if I even want to be with him yet. I haven't felt devastated or super low like I did with Smitten last summer, so I guess I am improving. But still. I'm aware there's a part of me that could easily get lost.

I'm thinking of asking Gia if she would be my point-girl on this. She was quite helpful in talking to me about Shelby- and maybe I just need somebody to check things against.

We'll see.

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