Dear Diary,

Well today I woke up feeling worse than I have in a long time. I had very bad insomnia last night till about 4am. And when I woke up I just felt... exhausted... and not refreshed at all. I felt like I was on the verge of collapse, the edge of getting really sick.

So I decided not to push myself. You know I had to be feeling bad NOT to go to work. I put on my bathing suit and went and lay in the sun for 40 minutes or so.... I have not done that once all summer.

I posted on Pandora's FB page, something like, I wish I had known you were going to the lake, why so sneaky? Then I decided it sounded too bitchy so I erased it. But Pandora saw it anyway and called me. She apologized for not telling me she was going. I don't know, she said a bunch of stuff about how it felt weird and how Roc was there (she had never met him in person; only through FB) and she was wondering if he knew about "us" (is there an us? Feels like that's jumping the gun a bit...) whatever. I'm not really sure what her logic was.

I tried to call Roc twice today with no response, so that bums me out a bit. I'm just tired and lonely, the usual combo. It won't really matter because in a day or two I'll be at Delia's, having some adventures, not sitting in a little office wishing somebody would pay attention to me. Anyway, it's only slightly depressing, not all-out depressing like it used to be. I'm just watching myself do the same stupid shit over and over again.

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